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Looking for love in Alderaan places, a repeat headline from 1819, and Venezuela inflation now approaching Whole Foods prices: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 9/11 - 9/17
Posted by Unfreakable at 2016-09-19 10:40:37 AM (1 comment) | Permalink

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1275 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Sep 2016 at 10:47 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Happy Monday, everyone. A few phenomenal headlines last week. Good work, submitters!

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2016-09-11 to Sat 2016-09-17:  French emergency services called into Paris catacombs after illegal drug-fueled party goes bad. Current estimates are six million dead  So long and thanks for  Man arrested for poaching venison. Man, this whole foodie thing is out of control  Man who used counterfeit $100 to pay for a lap dance is ordered to pay $100 in restitution. Justice was finally served. So were Charity, Jade, Destiny  Six thousand year old snowshoe found in professor's office. Man, when those guys get tenure, they never want to leave  Truck crash spills 6,000 pounds of sausage. Discussion to the right. Links to the left  Vader guilty. Chancellor expected to suspend Galactic Senate, Trade Union talks embargos  Blue Angels announce they will stop performing the "Split S" maneuver that killed a pilot, which means that a few years from now a young, promising cadet will convince his squadmates to try it at their graduation only to be thwarted by Wesley Crusher  This penis also a vibrator  Robot snatches gun from man during police standoff. Also needs his clothes, his boots, and his motorcycle  O O, O o, ^ ^

Sports:  Cricket fans still debating pros and cons of playing under lights and whether it disturbs the sleep of players or spectators more  Russian hackers find Simone Biles tested positive for Ritalin. But it's okay, she was taking it becaus--SQUIRREL  Jackson destroys Seminoles. This is not a repeat from 1819

Geek:  I understand why the admins might want to redlight this headline. However, there are also good reasons to greenlight it  Self driving cars are playing Grand Theft Auto V in order to become better drivers, run over more hookers  Scientists have discovered a ray that chews its food, presumably with the last of the petty cash

Entertainment:  Ex-girlfriend of Mark Hamill's son says the Star Wars actor tried to use the force to get her to get an abortion. Sounds like she was looking for love in Alderaan places  Kendall and Kylie Jenner rescued after being stuck in an elevator. Neither one was injured other than being traumatized from having to wear the same outfit for more than an hour  Jason Lee abandons Scientology. Goes back to hanging out at the mall

Politics:  California Governor Jerry Brown vetoes bill that would end the tampon tax, says it's because the provision should only have been inserted during the period of the legislative cycle when lawmakers work through fiscal imbalance  Bill Clinton to campaign for Hillary while she's recovering from pneumonia, hopes to nail down the elusive 18-24 female demographic  PolitiFact debunks Trump's claim of becoming an AfterBirther

Business:  JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon says he would "love to be President" but it's too late, it's too hard, and the $400,000 salary is less than one week's take home pay  Bayer and Monsanto let their powers combine, form Looten Plunder  Venezuela inflation pushes the price of eggs to $150 a dozen. Now they know what it's like for residents of the U.S. who do their shopping at Whole Foods
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2016-09-19 11:00:10 AM  
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