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Geronimo, hamsters, and Buddhist monk sex scandals: Headlines of the Week for Feb 15 - Feb 21
Posted by Drew at 2009-02-23 3:01:18 PM (13 comments) | Permalink
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5768 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Feb 2009 at 3:33 PM (10 years ago) | | share: more»
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Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2009-02-15 to Sat 2009-02-21:
Man is charged after throwing soda can at woman's head. She'll be fine, it was a soft drink
Akron math teacher's blood-alcohol level was three times legal limit, proving you shouldn't drink and derive
Spelling bee may be canceled due to budget cuts. EVERYBODY PANIK
Dentist charged for filling minor cavities
There are five types of orgasm. The positive ("Oh YES"), the negative ("oh NO"), the Religious ("oh GOD"), the fake ("oh SUBBY"), and the one where you call out the wrong name and get strangled
Geronimo's descendants sue Skull and Bones club for return of their ancestor's remains. Also ask that we yell something else when jumping out of airplanes
Georgian scientists develop technique for harnessing energy from hamsters, you just have to make sure they're in the right gere first
Old and busted: Catholic Priest sex scandal. New Hotness: Buddhist Monk sex Scandal. So, would that be Monk, he see - Monk, he do?
Man dies while playing hide-and-seek. Police set to launch investigation in one Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi
Woman sues Yahoo when a search for her own name brings up porn, spam. Sucks to be you, Penny Sinlargement of Viagra Falls, Wisconsin
Man decides to go bungee jumping, thinks there's nothing wrong with the cord. Frayed knot.
Co-pilot of flight that landed in the Hudson River will throw out first pitch at Brewers' home opener. Pitch likely to be a sinker
Kings and Timberwolves agree to four-player deal. Bobby Brown goes to the T-Wolves who are now expected to beat the crap out of Houston
Harlem Globetrotter arrested on domestic violence charges. Wow - I guess they're real basketball players after all
Male whales like big humps and they cannot lie, cetacean brothers can't deny
New technology allows jewelry to be coated in DNA to prevent theft, suddenly making your wife's pearl necklace the safest thing in the world
Did you ever wonder why humans didn't develop long prehensile toes that would act as extra fingers? Scientists find that chimps like us, baby, we were born to run
Millionaire Salma Hayek overcomes the socio-economic divide and weds French billionaire
Tom Cruise takes Katie Holmes out for a romantic day at Disney World. "She's an extraordinary woman. She is funny and smart and she likes the same things that I do." Like men
In what may be the worst timed really bad idea since the 17 Feb 1945 Grand Opening Sale of the Dresden Fireworks Co, Kim Kardashian gets a chimpanzee
"Clinton Lays Out Broad Asian Agenda". This headline makes sense no matter how you arrange the words
Norm Coleman wants the votes he originally wanted thrown out, then counted, then omitted, then included, to be thrown out again. Confused? You won't be after this week's episode of Recount
Obama says people should see tax cut help by April 1, also adds that Burger King is making left-handed Whoppers, Taco Bell will re-name The Liberty Bell, and that this year's spaghetti harvest will be the best one in decades
National Amusement theatres to be sold off. Sales times are 11:00, 2:15, 4:35, 6:55, 9:35, 11:45
Longtime independent Alaska Air can't rule out merger. Giant guy on side of plane says "Inuit all along"
Whenever I bite into a York Peppermint Patty, I feel the cool sensation of a tropical factory in Mexico
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