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Baked Alaska, David Copperfield makes $17.5 million disappear, one Pence none the derper: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 7/10 - 7/16
Posted by Unfreakable at 2016-07-18 11:19:51 AM (1 comment) | Permalink

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1932 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jul 2016 at 11:32 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Happy Monday, everybody. Hope you're all doing well. Enjoy the headlines!

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2016-07-10 to Sat 2016-07-16:  MacArthur Park is frightening in the dark. All the doctors are prescribing pills. Many patients claiming ankle sprains. I don't want to cast aspersions, of Oxycontin pill diversions, but they'll never make six million bucks again  Suicide now leading cause of death for Utahns ages 10-17. Internet blamed for showing them what life is like outside Utah  Archaeologists discover world's oldest notated music in Syria; Led Zeppelin deny stealing it  The Brexit vote messed things up so badly for the UK, May is coming in July  Woman gives birth after having her ovaries frozen for 10 years. Infant is promptly declared the King in the North  You know who ELSE tried to catch 'em all?  Turns out Subarus are popular with bears, too  New York man arrested after firefighters found a dead cat cooking in his oven. Charges to depend on what the cat was cooking  Italy's last prince is now making a pretty penne  Marines find new Pokémon AttemptusMurderi, herd him back into the Pokéy  Baked Alaska

Sports:  US Women's soccer reveal the players who will go for their 4th straight Olympic gold. Cholera passes to Zika, Zika passes to Rubella, back to Zika who shoots and ... GOOOOOOAL *COUGH* * COUGH*  Court denies Brady's appeal. Rest of the league pumped up, except Cleveland who knows what it's like to not have a QB  Somehow, NASCAR was able to determine that Dale Jr. has concussion like symptoms

Geek:  Twinkies are now produced mostly by robots, allowing more efficient feeding of computer programmers across the country  Vision restored in mice. Farmer's wife may still face charges  Dwarf planet discovered outside Pluto's orbit; scheduled to soon have all life there devoured by Tyraids and all mention of it wiped from the Imperial Archives

Entertainment:  David Copperfield tricks out his new Las Vegas mansion, makes $17.5 million disappear  The more Paramount squeezes, the more fan made Star Trek slips through their fingers  Cypress Hill reissuing "Cypress Hill" as '25th Anniversary Skull'. Kit for turning it into a killer bong sold separately

Politics:  GOP adds dildo return policy to 2016 platform  One Pence None the Derper  Mattel introduces "President Barbie" who comes along with another female doll as Vice President. It also includes their own presidential limousine, Secret Service agents and instructions for hiding their private e-mail server

Business:  "Apple's line of Mac computers is not selling as well as it used to." REPEAT  Germany is selling 10 year bonds that have a negative yield. Finally, an alternative to dumping all your money into Intel  IKEA issues recall for 80,000 baby gates. Nobody knows how to complete recall because instructions are in Swedish
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1 Comment     (+0 »)
2016-07-18 12:45:27 PM  
Sweet!  Got two in one week!  :)
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