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BBC discovers the dingle peninsula, Morley Safer finds peace in retirement, and Farkers are exposed to Maybellween, a new lipsdick: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines Of The Week for 5/15 to 5/21
Posted by Unfreakable at 2016-05-23 3:12:31 AM (1 comment) | Permalink

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1216 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 May 2016 at 9:00 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

It's Monday again, so it's time to look back at the headlines that made us laugh the most last week, although maybe not quite as much as the lady with the Chewbacca mask. Good work, submitters. Enjoy your week!

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2016-05-15 to Sat 2016-05-21:  Paralympic athlete is reunited with her legs after somebody ran off with them  BBC discovers the dingle peninsula. Submitter found his ages ago and has the chafing to prove it  "Ever wanted to lick your cat?" "No." "Meet LickiBrush, the-" "No." "-new way to bond with-" "I said no." "-your furry friend without risk of-" "Stop." "-hairballs and-" "I DON'T WANT TO LICK MY CAT"  Trudeau apologises for Komagata Maru incident. KHAAAAAN  Cutting crew finds woman's body off interstate, and ooooAHHH she just died in your arms tonight  Former Princeton graduate student with dyslexia protests treatment with rehung trikes  Morley Safer's first week of retirement gets off to a bad start  Murderous traitors will no longer be allowed to fly their flag in veterans' cemeteries  Laugh it up, fuzzball  Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's Maybellween (link not safe for work)  U.S. drone strike mansplains a few things to Taliban chief Mullah Mansour

Sports:  Jose Bautista almost knocked out by Odor, begs his teammates to shower  31 athletes banned from the Olympics in Rio after samples from 2008 test positive for PEDs. Subby isn't sure if they are being punished or rewarded  Kobe Bryant's new shoes from Nike are called "The Black Mamba." He declines to actively market them, making it the first time in his career that he's actually going to pass

Geek:  Yo Symantec, we heard your antivirus parses suspect executables for things that exploited overflows. So we put an exploit in our executable so we could overflow your parser so you could IRONY_OVERFLOW_EXCEPTION  "Sometimes toes spontaneously fall off and nobody knows why." You asshole. Oh, sorry--I'm lack toes intolerant  Johns Hopkins University says its medical school will no longer use live animals to train students. Hopefully they'll go back to the old way of training students using qualified professors

Entertainment:  Ewan McGregor to play Jesus Christ. The idea came from all of those people muttering "Jesus Christ" as they walked out of the Star Wars prequels  Meet Arizona's No. 2 TV reporter  A horse is a horse, of course of course, and no one can talk to a horse of course, except, of course, this man, of course, but a source says he is dead

Politics:  "Why Hillary won't blow it," an article oddly not written by Bill Clinton  Trump will be greeted at the RNC convention by 100 naked women. This is apparently a protest against him and not something he specifically requested (Not safe for work)  When Trump sends his delegates to the convention, he's not sending his best. He's sending rapists and murderers and I'd imagine some good people

Business:  Jaguar engines win engineering award, and not just because they can spontaneously disassemble themselves while you're just driving down the road  Quaker Oats recalls granola bars over Listeria fears. HA HA  IBM to tell 14,000 workers to cache in their blue chips
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1 Comment     (+0 »)
2016-05-23 09:41:34 AM  
Am I the only one who thinks Morley Safer's parents looked down at their packs of cigarettes after making love, and decided to name their child after them?
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