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Inmates buying tiny cell phones by the buttload, Nixon's Waterloo, and Cmen from a Dmen: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 4/24 - 4/30
Posted by Unfreakable at 2016-05-02 9:30:34 AM (2 comments) | Permalink

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1210 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 May 2016 at 9:33 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Welcome back to a new week, everybody. These were some of the headlines from last week that made us laugh. Hope you enjoy them, too.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2016-04-24 to Sat 2016-04-30:

img.fark.net  Texas man purloins steaks, has beef with cops leading to high-speed chase. Police use flanking maneuvers and attempt to T-bone suspect before he's finally cut off. Strip search reveals evidence

img.fark.net  Soldier dies after running marathon. This is not a repeat from 490 BCE

img.fark.net  Another data breach on a dating site. You don't have to worry though

img.fark.net  Spanking causes worse behavior ... but better daddy issues

img.fark.net  Disney cruise ship rescues three federal fugitives at sea. Must now choose between working in diamond mine, being trapped in a lamp or being turned into pumpkins as punishment

img.fark.net  Parents name their son 'Jet Star' after the airline he was born on board. Good thing he wasn't born on Virgin

img.fark.net  US Air Force nominates the first Jew to ever become a service branch Chief of Staff. His mother would like you to know how proud she is of his brother the doctor

img.fark.net  World's tiniest cell phone is very popular with prison inmates, who are buying buttloads of them

img.fark.net  Millennials going door to door for grass

img.fark.net  Utah mom does Crossfit until day before she delivers her baby. Resulting posts fill up two thirds of Facebook's server farms

img.fark.net  In what could be a preview of a Trump election victory headline, gigantic cock moving to Pennsylvania Avenue


Sports:

img.fark.net  Court of Appeals saves Boston-area sports radio for the next five months by reinstating Tom Brady's DeflateGate suspension

img.fark.net  Tiger Woods says he "feels good" after the first few holes this year. That's all good and fine but, what about his golf game?

img.fark.net  The Hasterts move on to next round


Geek:

img.fark.net  Bloomberg turns to robots to deliver its news. Audience braces for the return of Ted Koppel

img.fark.net  Halloween just got a whole lot scarier

img.fark.net  Scientist: Somebody alive today will live for 1000 years. My money's on Zsa Zsa


Entertainment:

img.fark.net  Kid Rock's personal assistant killed in ATV accident on Rock's property. Early reports are saying he up jumped the boogie

img.fark.net  Katt Williams arrested for a salt

img.fark.net  The Omen is getting a prequel, presumably called The Cmen from a Dmen and where it Kmen


Politics:

img.fark.net  Ted Cruz concedes California

img.fark.net  Obama's hypocritical drug policy is his Iran-Contra, which was Reagan's Watergate, which was Nixon's Waterloo, which was Napoleon's Battle of Hastings, which was King Harold's Calvary, which was Jesus' Troy, which was

img.fark.net  Taint to endorse asshole


Business:

img.fark.net  Xerox 1Q profits fall 84%▓▓▒▒░░

img.fark.net  Texas instruments increased sales of processors helps company avoids 1Q 535507

img.fark.net  NYC's Four Seasons restaurant tells all employees that they won't be working this summer, fall, winter, spring
· · ·

2 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2016-05-02 01:37:45 PM  
I'm proud to have hit HOTW, but I gotta say Omen/Dmen/Cmen/Kmen should have swept the awards.
 
2016-05-02 02:10:20 PM  
If you knew how much a phone call from a prison cost then you'd understand. A 15 minute phone call from Roederer was $4.83 per call and it was in state. I can't imagine how much it was out of state
 
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