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Chip Monk, the search for Seattle's hipster ninja masturbator, and Obama nominates Self for court pick: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 3/13 - 3/19
Posted by Unfreakable at 2016-03-21 6:56:46 AM (3 comments) | Permalink

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1182 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Mar 2016 at 7:03 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Happy Monday, everybody. Hope some of these give you a chuckle like they did for me.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2016-03-13 to Sat 2016-03-19:

img.fark.net  Russian military begins withdrawal from the parts of Syria that Putin doesn't want

img.fark.net  Police seek hipster ninja masturbator in Seattle. Ironically, someone saw him coming

img.fark.net  Woman's addiction causes her to eat her armchair foam. She hopes eventually to recover

img.fark.net  Explosion at Hawaii energy research laboratory leaves researcher seriously injured, anxiously awaiting new super powers

img.fark.net  Twitter turns ten years old. And just like a ten year old child it communicates with fractured sentences, demands constant attention from everyone around, and is years away from ever actually making any money

img.fark.net  Chip Monk

img.fark.net  Computer nerds successfully get into a woman's panties

img.fark.net  Man ordered to undergo mental health evaluation jumps from court house's third floor balcony. Evaluation complete

img.fark.net  T&A Mobile

img.fark.net  Apple CEO says the company's fight with the FBI is "about the future." Which is hard to believe since the FBI's technical skills are somewhere between the Victrola and the rotary phone

img.fark.net  Your trailer park door you should latch it, when a violent itch he would scratch it. He has a short fuse and threatens abuse by putting to use his new hatchet


Sports:

img.fark.net  Dak arrested for DUI, which may after his draft prospects, force him to join the Rebellion, and die in battle as a snowspeeder gunner. Drinking kills

img.fark.net  Goodell to give up discipline duties. No word on whether knocking your wife out in an elevator will still be an equal suspension to wearing the wrong color socks

img.fark.net  Now that they've washed their hands of Johnny Manziel, the Cleveland Browns vow to find a quarterback who's mature, durable, and a team leader. And .... hey, what's Robert Griffin III doing here?


Geek:

img.fark.net  Instagram to display photos order, out of will test feed algorithm-based

img.fark.net  Fossilized T-Rex found in Montana determined to be pregnant female, prompting emergency State Legislature sessions across the US to ban abortions in the 16,250,000th trimester

img.fark.net  Could Apple's iWatch detect a stroke? Well, it probably depends on if it was on the dominant wrist


Entertainment:

img.fark.net  Camille Cosby does not want to discuss her marital sex life. Most likely because she can't remember any of it

img.fark.net  Emerson, Smith and Wesson

img.fark.net  Chachi loves phony


Politics:

img.fark.net  Trump supporters deface cemetery at latest rally. To be fair, the dead in Illinois were going to vote straight-ticket Democrat anyway

img.fark.net  Rubiobot blue screens

img.fark.net  Obama nominates Self for court pick


Business:

img.fark.net  Apple claims the DOJ actions would appall the Founders. And who would know better than a company owned by white males that uses slave labor?

img.fark.net  Acefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

img.fark.net  Microsoft in trouble for hiring more women
· · ·

3 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2016-03-21 12:42:52 PM  
Can I self-immolate now?
 
2016-03-21 02:11:58 PM  
Holy shiat, I have a HOTW!
 
2016-03-21 02:42:47 PM  

Bith Set Me Up: Holy shiat, I have a HOTW!


rs683.pbsrc.comView Full Size
 
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