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Bulletproof furniture available in either duck down or hide, nuclear war declared on a frisbee golf course, and Ben Cur rides again: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 2/28 - 3/5
Posted by Unfreakable at 2016-03-07 10:54:03 AM (1 comment) | Permalink

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1262 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Mar 2016 at 10:56 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Happy Monday, everyone. Enjoy the headlines.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2016-02-28 to Sat 2016-03-05:  Windmill collapses. Police say main suspect is a tall thin man wearing a barber's shaving basin as a helmet  Meth use soars in Australia because statistically, meth is one of the things least likely to kill you in Australia  Biologists predict 95 percent decline in Georgia bats. In their defense, the Braves can't really get much worse  Murder case collapses in Omagh bomb trial. Thanks, Omagh bomber  New bulletproof furniture available in either duck down or hide  North Korea launches a devastating attack against their oldest foe  Man taking selfies with gun fatally shoots himself. This is why you should take selfies with a camera  Hospital announces operations are cancelled "because there is brown stuff running down the walls." You should have seen patients' faeces when they were told  Ben Cur  Burglars in monkey masks break into marijuana dispensary. Officials say the situation is evolving  Lake? Whoah, be gone

Sports:  NFL salary cap for 2016 will be $155 million. League will also increase the money set aside for concussion treatment and research to $79  Denver Broncos thank Peyton Manning for his service and tell him to not let the door sack him on the way out  Manning retirement speculation swirling, just like his junk in an unsuspecting trainer's face

Geek:  Pentagon invites hackers to try to gain access to sensitive--Breaking: we're getting word that we've declared nuclear war on a frisbee golf course in Oklahoma  If we want to find evidence of extraterrestrial life, we have to start thinking like aliens. No, not the anal probes, pull your pants back up  Ten reasons to be an existentialist... as if it really matters

Entertainment:  "NCIS" renewed for two more seasons of being the show that just happens to still be playing on the TV after your grandpa falls asleep watching "Jeopardy"  Excited about the adaptation of Neil Gaiman's "American Gods" that's coming to HBO? Now, what if I told you Ian McShane is playing Mr. Wednesday? Yes, you can go change your pants now  Will Smith and Jerry Bruckheimer have agreed to make "Bad Boys 3." Apparently, they both assume Martin Lawrence is desperate for work

Politics:  Dr. Ben Carson will not participate in Thursday's GOP debate, which is not a change from any previous debate  O/ \o \o \o \o \o \o \o \o \o \o \o \o \o  Bernie lures hen into Foxhouse

Business:  JCPenney pulls off the best resurrection from the dead since that other JC  Twitter has now lost $2 billion over the past ten years, surpassing the old record held by  Airports at Harrisburg and Newark have the highest ticket prices. Apparently people will pay whatever it takes to get out of Pennsylvania and New Jersey
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1 Comment     (+0 »)
2016-03-07 01:41:00 PM  
Whoever wrote the Omagh bomber headline, I salute you for one of my favorite memes being used creatively.
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