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Batman arrested for Robin tourist, a better mouse fap, and one-legged robber gets away on foot: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 2/21 -2/27
Posted by Unfreakable at 2016-02-29 10:09:30 AM (4 comments) | Permalink

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994 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Feb 2016 at 10:13 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Happy Monday, everybody! Hope your week is great. Here are some headlines from last week to start your week right.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2016-02-21 to Sat 2016-02-27:  Couple arrested over graveyard voodoo love ritual that included corpse desecration and magic spells. To be fair, you can't spell 'necromancer' without 'romance'  Woman and her 9 children escape burning home. Shoe still smoldering  One-legged armed robber holds up store, gets away on foot  Woman comes to term with Amtrak delay  Green Acres ain't the place to be. My woman put the knife in me. Blood spreadin' out so far and wide. Plead manslaughter, she'll get off on homicide  Police arrest woman, charge her with commandeering bus while not being Sandra Bullock  Man has a bruschetta with danger on Valentine's Day at Olive Garden after his Prego girlfriend found out he gave his free breadstick to another scampi  Batman arrested for Robin tourist  Ice, ice, anchorbaby  With the exception of a bad week in 1945, Japan's population drops for the first time since the 1920s  Person on payroll of pothole patching producer patches potholes in pavement preceding private parkway to pad. Public paper pushers prefer pitch, propose pointless and petty procedures

Sports:  Kyrie Irving joins the long list of men who caught something from a Hilton  In a move that made Subby check to see if it was April Fool's Day, Stewart-Haas Racing announces it wants to be First On Race Day  :-\

Geek:  Morgan Freeman is finally a GPS navigation voice. In .5 miles, turn left at the big hayfield near Buxton  "Doctor says increased public awareness of premature ejaculation issues can't come soon enough"  Scientists build a better mouse fap

Entertainment:  Kylie Jenner may lose her vehicle because Tyga hasn't made a payment on the G-Wagon he first gave Blac Chyna. None of these proper nouns have meaning  Bye, everybody  Yoko Ono hospitalized with flu-like symptoms. Initial tests suggest she may have been listening to Yoko Ono songs

Politics:  Ted Cruz fires his communication director Lars Lars-Pontsonfirs  Sen. Jeff Flake (R-AZ) becomes just the latest Republican to be attacked by his own party  Fat Man Endorses Little Boy

Business:  Takata airbag recall may soon violently expand to over 100 million vehicles  Germans find evidence of civilisation in Mars  ♫ With or without EU, With or without EU, oh no. I can't liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive with or without EU ♫
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4 Comments     (+0 »)
2016-02-29 11:25:45 AM  
30+ years of Tolkien, D&D, video games, and I never noticed you can't spell 'necromancer' without 'romance'.
2016-02-29 11:27:17 AM  
Why isn't the OH SNAP one on here?  That was a good one!
2016-02-29 12:34:42 PM  
Interesting how there are two references to the atomic bombing of Japan in these Headlines of the Week.
2016-02-29 01:40:05 PM  
It occurs to me, my humble headline may be the first time Yoko Ono has ever appeared on a list of "favourite" things.
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