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Darmok and Jalad at Nashville, shooting the toaster, and Huck, fin: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 1/31 - 2/6
Posted by Unfreakable at 2016-02-08 11:25:16 AM (2 comments) | Permalink
More: FarkBlog, lesbian sex, phone sex hotline, sex offender register, Great Dildo Sale, Latin American Catholics, star Teresa Giudice, Iran torture prisoners, Golden State Warriors
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1338 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Feb 2016 at 11:28 AM (3 years ago) | | share: more»
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Happy post-Super Bowl Hangover Day, everybody.
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2016-01-31 to Sat 2016-02-06:
So my girlfriend asked why I carried a handgun in the kitchen. I told her "In case of government spies." She laughed. I laughed. The toaster laughed. I shot the toaster. It was a good morning
"If a man also lie with a tractor, as he lieth with a woman, he has committed an abomination: he shall surely be put on the sex offender register; the axle grease shall be upon him" Massey-Ferguson 20:13
Gathering in Rome to discuss taking on Islamic State. This is not a repeat from 1096, 1145, 1189, 1202, 1213, 1228, 1248, 1270, *or* 1271
"For hot girls, press 1. For hot guys, press 2. To accept jury duty, press 3. To get out of jury duty by claiming you are too busy on the phone sex hotline they sent to you, press 4"
Guards in Iran torture prisoners for up to 15 hours straight. Don't they have labor laws?
Latin American Catholics have to decide which is worse: Using birth control, or getting a little head
Woman injured at Darmok and Jalad gig in Nashville
The Chargers are going to Detroit
Y'all Qaeda may need to pay $3.4 million for damage they did. Great Dildo Sale of '16 commences
CDC says to use a condom to avoid Zika but how are you supposed to get it on the mosquito?
I submitted this with a batter headline
Citing health issues that have left him neither Optimus nor Prime, Megatron plans to retire
Golden State Warriors plan trip to the White House, are expected to hold the Obama administration to 61 overall points on their way to another blowout
Jared Allen thanks the Chicago Bears for getting him to Superbowl 50 by trading him to the Carolina Panthers. In other news, the Bears are hoping the 'conditional sixth round pick' they traded him for is DAMNED GOOD
Saturn may be flashy and pretty, and Jupiter may be huge and dramatic, but they can't hold a candle to Uranus
Futurologist says that humans will merge with computers by 2050. Critics say he's late on that prediction since it's now impossible to pry an iPhone out of the hands of a 16-year-old
Germans fire up the largest stellarator fusion device in the world. What could possibly go wr
'Real Housewives of New Jersey' star Teresa Giudice reveals details of her year spent behind bars in new book which describes vile bathrooms, food with maggots, lesbian sex, strip searches, lesbian sex, hair-pulling brawls, and lesbian sex
Smashing Pumpkins announce tour with Liz Phair, Beanie Babies, Pogs, Tickle-Me Elmo
Earth, Wind & Fire founder Maurice White has passed away at 74, because if you're an entertainment legend in 2016 that's the way of the world
O'Malley pulls out, disappointing all of his voter
Santorum seeps out of presidential race
Amazon opening a national chain of brick-and-mortar bookstores next to Tesla Horse Dealerships
Tyson Foods profits rising faster than a speeding pullet
Hasbro and Mattel now considering a merger, immediately dismiss new company name Has-Mat
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