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Rump pumps Trump, an epidemic of hallucinating coyotes, and a satellite view of Charlie Sheen's nightstand: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 1/24 - 1/30
Posted by Unfreakable at 2016-02-01 9:38:17 AM (0 comments) | Permalink

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1069 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Feb 2016 at 9:40 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Happy Monday, everybody. Enjoy some of the better headlines from last week.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2016-01-24 to Sat 2016-01-30:  Possible piece of MH370 found in Thailand. That or just a random chunk of metal. Regardless, CNN has already started masturbating furiously  Detroit Police seeking woman with dementia. Hell, give it a couple of years and they'll be able to get all they want from Flint  British explorer becomes first man to cross 97% of Antarctic alone  Grand jury sucks the life out of Center for Medical Progress  Rare giraffe spotted. To be fair, though, they're all spotted  Nine-year-old collects Barbie dolls for homeless girls her age. No Barbie dollhouses would be mean to rub it in like that  Stoned, hallucinating coyotes may be terrorizing California drivers, buying unsafe ACME products  Police kick in opera singer's door after confusing singing with screaming, tell him to immediately leave the aria  Man reunited with prized canoe after serious oar deal  Scientists say wisdom teeth removal rarely necessary. An wu hell me hat NOW??  China to pay Ecuador $80 million for Amazon prime

Sports:  If the Chargers go to LA, Oakland is ready to move the Raiders to San Diego, a city that's already proven itself to be accepting of supporters in ridiculous cosplay outfits  Great googly moogly  Johnny Manziel under investigation for altercation with ex-girlfriend. Authorities take the allegations seriously, though they find it hard to believe a Cleveland Brown could beat anyone

Geek:  Deep Thought challenged Kasparov, then Deep Blue defeated Kasparov. Now Deep Mind has defeated a Go champion. Soon, we'll be in Deep Sh---  After Winter Storm Jonas hit, NASA photos from space reveal the entire East Coast looked like Charlie Sheen's nightstand  Scientists are now closer to finding the cause of schizophrenia. They would have solved it already but only work late at night, in a hidden location, away from the people trying to steal it from them

Entertainment:  David Duchovny receives star on Hollywood Walk of Fame, or maybe it's just a distraction to cover up the truth about the aliens who are working with the reverse vampires to create a new breed of super celebrity that will take over all the stars  2016 continues to take its toll on the entertainment world  Kevin Hart named as a presenter at this year's Oscars, also nominated as Best Short Subject

Politics:  Anthony Weiner says he "wouldn't be surprised" if Bernie Sanders won Iowa and New Hampshire, before going on to ask if anyone would like to see his penis  Rump pumps Trump  Bloomberg reports FBI investigation of Hillary is more advanced than thought, and could be "cataclysmic for Secretary Clinton if Senator Sanders is still alive", forgetting what tactics Hillary can Foster when cornered

Business:  Twitter loses four important characters  Darth Vader's son takes control of Sky, begins construction of Death Star that can only move further to the right  CEO of Takata to offer his resignation, is now afraid that his golden parachute will fail to deploy
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