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Vermin on the Mount, CAN ADA, and the latest adventures of the Aristohicks: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 1/10 - 1/16
Posted by Unfreakable at 2016-01-18 9:19:13 AM (7 comments) | Permalink

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1343 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jan 2016 at 9:20 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



A few good headlines for you this week. Enjoy!

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2016-01-10 to Sat 2016-01-16:

img.fark.net  Under Maryland law, one can be in a special legal status whereby they're not allowed to have sex with anyone. In the rest of the country it's simply called "marriage"

img.fark.net  CAN ADA

img.fark.net  ISIS gunmen attack Baghdad mall, reportedly after being denied a new outlet for their brand-name store Beheading Butchery and Beyond

img.fark.net  British trains delayed due to freak weather condition called "bright sunshine"

img.fark.net  For the first time in 200 years, England to consider replacing "God Save the Queen" as its national anthem. Americans immediately offer the very singable "To Anacreon in Heaven"

img.fark.net  Sperm thieving scandal throws greyhound race into a spin, as a bunch of jerks stole a dog to try to come into money

img.fark.net  10% of Americans would make amateur porn for $1 million. Judging by the Internet, the other 90% is significantly undercutting them

img.fark.net  Two horses, a mule, and a miniature horse returned after they escape a Tempe corral. ESCAPE A TEMPE, CORRAL

img.fark.net  YallQaeda member steals U.S. Fish and Wildlife truck and changes the name tag on the door, then drives into town, where he's promptly arrested outside of a Safeway. The Aristohicks

img.fark.net  These two phrases you never want to see together: "perpetuated a complacent atmosphere" and "mistaken shipment of live anthrax"

img.fark.net  'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves / Did gyre and gimble in the wabe: / All manslaughtered were the Mims men / And the Florida Police outgrabe


Sports:

img.fark.net  NFL Cheerleaders file class action against Bills. Ken Starr ecstatic

img.fark.net  Picabo, I Assault You

img.fark.net  Chris Davis agrees to 7 year, $161M contract with Orioles; expected value $575K per HR or $115K per strikeout depending on how you look at it


Geek:

img.fark.net  New evidence suggests that autism may be 'hiding' in a fold of the brain, quietly repeating baseball statistics to itself

img.fark.net  "Millennials are completely ignorant of Roman bridge-building techniques," he said archly

img.fark.net  China to make first landing on dark side of the moon, send NASA a wish you were here postcard


Entertainment:

img.fark.net  Germany credits David Bowie with helping to topple the Berlin Wall. Coincidentally, Justin Bieber now being credited with the movement to build a wall between the U.S. and Canada

img.fark.net  The one where they all got old

img.fark.net  Spoiler alert: Snape dies


Politics:

img.fark.net  TED Talks: Vermin on the Mount

img.fark.net  Group of children known as "Freedom Kids" appear at political rallies to praise the leading candidate's nationalistic vision through song and dance. This is very close to a repeat from 1933

img.fark.net  World Net Daily has had it up TO HERE with all this nonsensical "birtherism" poppycock. Would also like to know who the hell put goose sauce on its gander


Business:

img.fark.net  Hillary Clinton is proposing a 4% tax on the super-rich, effectively bringing their total tax rate up to 4%

img.fark.net  GoPro tells 7% of its workforce to GoHome

img.fark.net  Owner of Philadelphia's largest newspapers have handed them off to a non-profit institute. Or as most people in the media industry call non-profits, "newspapers"
· · ·

7 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2016-01-18 09:42:31 AM  
The Jabberwocky headline was well done.
 
2016-01-18 11:49:02 AM  

UNC_Samurai: The Jabberwocky headline was well done.


Totally agree.
 
2016-01-18 12:19:07 PM  
the CAN ADA one is a thing of beauty
 
2016-01-18 01:05:11 PM  

UNC_Samurai: The Jabberwocky headline was well done.


No.  It was close, but Subby misspelled "Floriduh"
 
2016-01-18 01:21:34 PM  

Cosmic_Music: the CAN ADA one is a thing of beauty


I'm just happy I hit the top of the Funny list with that one. Especially when I think about how many people have me on ignore because I both knowingly play with trolls and become a real asshat when I'm hammered.
/ humblebrag done
// I actually liked the British train delay headline best.
 
2016-01-18 01:56:35 PM  
Sweet!  GoPro and Aristohicks made the cut for me this week.  :)
 
2016-01-18 03:53:49 PM  

starsrift: Cosmic_Music: the CAN ADA one is a thing of beauty

I'm just happy I hit the top of the Funny list with that one. Especially when I think about how many people have me on ignore because I both knowingly play with trolls and become a real asshat when I'm hammered.
/ humblebrag done
// I actually liked the British train delay headline best.


I don't think it's yours, Hoss.
 
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