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The Kid's in the Hall, a license to krill and the difference between "one night stand" and "Mormon": some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 1/3 - 1/9
Posted by Unfreakable at 2016-01-11 11:07:13 AM (0 comments) | Permalink

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1983 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Jan 2016 at 11:09 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Welcome back, everybody. New week and some good headlines last week. Good job, submitters

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2016-01-03 to Sat 2016-01-09:  Winning lottery ticket pays $1,000 a month for the rest of someone else's life, a system known elsewhere as 'alimony'  College professor may lose herjab  World upset by Best Korea's Fat Man and Little Boy - and also its nuclear bomb test  Well there's shrimp slavery, shrimp toxins, shrimp cruelty, shrimp fraud, shrimp carbon, shrimp MRSA, shrimpicillin, shrimpecoli, shrimpruptcy, shrimplesterol, shrimpophosphates, shrimpestrogens, and shrimp sandwich. That's - that's about it  Looks like the honeymoon is over on Broketooth Mountain  New from CES: a toilet you only clean once a year. Really? Because I've already got one of those  Archer, on a mission for ISIS, yanks a cop's piece and unloads into another cop. PHRASING  Shoplifter hides frozen shrimp in his pants, says he has a license to krill  Rear Admiral fires seamen at work, relieved  El Chapo interviewed by Sean Penn. And here some of you were worried he'd escape punishment  UK lad ODs on deodorant. Careful with that Axe, Eugene

Sports:  The Kid's in the Hall  Hyman breaks at AtM, to be filled with Woody  Ryan Howard sues Al Jazeera for defamation in claiming he used steroids, plays for the Phillies

Geek:  All right you primitive screwheads, listen up  Study shows aspirin may decrease risk of death from prostate cancer. Just remember to insert them one at a time  German man says he has created an on-off switch for testicles to control semen flow, which ranges from "one-night stand" to "Mormon"

Entertainment:  Ronda Rousey to host Saturday Night Live, which is good since SNL is funny for about 13 seconds anyway  Camille Cosby was almost drugged into... I mean dragged into court by U.S. Marshals  'Tales from the Crypt' returning (YAY), with a new series on TNT (oh.) from writer-director M. Night Shyamalan (...)

Politics:  By Grabthar's Hammer, John Kasich has a new slogan  Obama pulls a Boehner on national television  Sanders supporters plan to sabotage Trump event, setting the stage for the whitest brawl since the Great Choate/Deerfield Donnybrook of 1928

Business:  Just like their customers, Chipotle's stock quickly takes a dump  GM invests $500 million in Lyft, foreseeing an on-demand network of self-driving cars that will be able to drive themselves to the dealer for recall repairs  Record number of Wall Street brokers were barred or suspended in 2015, breaking the old record of zero
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