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Using a hemi for bait, affluenza outbreak quarantined, and DA finds probable Cos for prosecution: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 12/27 - 1/2
Posted by Unfreakable at 2016-01-04 11:18:30 AM (2 comments) | Permalink

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1387 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Jan 2016 at 11:21 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Will be announcing the winners of Fark's Headline of the Year contest for 2015 later today. Cheers

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2015-12-27 to Sat 2016-01-02:  Biblical scholar suggests that due to an unfortunate mistranslation in the Bible, God did not create Eve from Adam's rib but rather from his penis. Dick move, God  Affluenza outbreak quarantined  The cure for cancer is in your own hands  Three killed in Killington crash. If only they had gone to Livingston  OMG they've arrested Carrot Top  Man trying to climb NYC's Four Seasons hotel makes it past summer, winter and spring  2015 mullet season catch is down drastically. Next time, use a Hemi for bait  Address Hotel in Dubai on fire. Firefighters searching for location  New York man crushed to death by falling elevator on New Year's Eve. Otis the season  Anybody Butt Rump  ♫ Shot in the crotch, and who's to blame? You're a eunuch now, from bad aim ♫

Sports:  Knicks forward Cleanthony Early hospitalized after an opponent takes a shot during an attempted steal  The last time Spartans lost this badly, their empire fell apart  First Trapper, now Hawkeye

Geek:  Red 5 runs out of green. Employees are blue, purplexed, and taking umberage  Scientists sequence first Irish DNA, report amino chain is B-E-G-O-R-R-A-H  Humpback whales slow to arrive in Hawaii. Damn shoddy Klingon engineering

Entertainment:  Ke$ha's new band is called Yeast Infection. That girl just keeps coming back  God is dead  Arrest warrant issued for famous actor/comedian - DA found Probable Cos

Politics:  New spending bill lets government robocall Bernie Sanders supporters  Judge issues...rulings against abortion clinics after secret video showed...evidence that crime had occurred, as Planned Parenthood clearly did...engage in the sale of fetal tissue for profit  Martin O'Malley held event in Iowa and only one person showed up. In other news, Martin O'Malley actually has one supporter (maybe)

Business:  Whole Foods to pay $500,000 in overcharging settlement. Well, that takes care of one customer  Foursquare now Twoline, soon to be One.point  Ever wonder why Chipotle serves their burritos wrapped in aluminum foil?
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2 Comments     (+0 »)
2016-01-04 11:30:47 AM  
Gotta love a Hemi
2016-01-04 11:39:32 AM  
I'm back! Sorry about your loss, Spartans.
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