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Workers suffering from Claustrophobia, Kim Dotcom closer to US Dotgov, and nothing of interest in Bland death: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 12/20 - 12/26 (and Headline of the Year contest update)
Posted by Unfreakable at 2015-12-28 11:40:40 AM (2 comments) | Permalink

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1097 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Dec 2015 at 11:48 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

One quick note for everybody: the first HEADLINE OF THE YEAR contest is heading your way today, with the rest coming by Wednesday to wrap up the year.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2015-12-20 to Sat 2015-12-26:  Name the worst mistake a pageant host can make. SURVEY SAYS ______________  Call Mr Plowed, that's my name. That name again is Mr Plowed  An armed robber dressed as Father Christmas climbed through the window of a drive-through KFC restaurant before fleeing with cash. Staff are now suffering from claustrophobia  Suspect identified in Paris attack  Grand jury finds nothing of interest in Bland death  Deal made on Craigslist to sell a video game console turns into a first-person shooter  Kim Dotcom one hop closer to US Dotgov  Man found alive after being buried for 67 hours by landslide in China, said to have enjoyed how easy it was to breathe under there  School district who fired lunch lady offers her job back for free or reduced damage control  Taekwondo instructor knocks out 5-year-old student. FLAWLESS VICTORY  Twas the day before Christmas / and all through the mall / people were ducking for cover / as police shoot a gunman, y'all

Sports:  NFL can't remember promising to fund concussion research  Jets sign WR who stood outside Texans' practice facility with "Will run routes for food" sign, will make team if he's good enough at committing drive-killing holding penalties  ♪♪ Ta-king hu-man growth hor-mone ♪♪

Geek:  Theoretical computer science community creaming their Dockers over new quasi-polynomial-time algorithm that solves long-standing blind-taste-test protocol for any NP-complete graph isomorphism problem  Lions have been added to the world's endangered species list. The causes are habitat destruction, disease, overall improvement of the NFC North  Scientists have found a circuit in the brain that wakes you up quickly. Said to be triggered by the "Horka Horka Horka Aaack" of a cat throwing up

Entertainment:  ♪ Who can take some roofies, mix 'em in your drink, rape you while unconscious and leave your mind a blank? The Cosby Man. Oh, the Cosby Man can ♫  Star Wars fan enraged by friend posting spoilers online threatens to shoot first  Bahamas man accused of hacking celebrities, stealing movie scripts and sex tapes, letting the dogs out

Politics:  Bernie Sanders won the debate, defeated the DNC, crushed Trump, ran the mile in under 10 seconds and became Miss Universe  Graham's rivals scramble to pick up his supporter  Bill Clinton's first home damaged in suspected arson. Republican leaders vow they won't rest until they find out exactly what Hillary's e-mails and Benghazi have to do with this

Business:  Canadians expected to smoke 1,425,600 kg of weed per year, double that if Seth Rogen moves back  Yuan to buy an African economy for $40 million? Xi does  Former chairman of Chinese business newspaper gets 4 years in prison for extorting payments from businesses to avoid negative coverage. Apparently the Chinese will copy anything, even Yelp's business model
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2 Comments     (+0 »)
2015-12-28 12:07:10 PM  
I'm back, baby!
2015-12-28 12:08:36 PM  
I must have missed the last quarter contest.
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