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Yankees complete their march through Atlanta unimpeded, Kermit in yet another relationship that isn't kosher, and a third eye and/or testicle on the forehead: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 8/30 - 9/5
Posted by Unfreakable at 2015-09-07 9:10:44 AM (0 comments) | Permalink
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1612 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Sep 2015 at 9:19 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Happy Labor Day everyone! Enjoy some of Fark's favorite headlines from last week.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2015-08-30 to Sat 2015-09-05:

img.fark.net  Man suffering from constipation for 10 years has 11-pound stool removed. Thank God it wasn't an ottoman

img.fark.net  Driver who crashed into home tests positive for pot as well as pan, plate, tv, couch, and chair

img.fark.net  The thing about Chinese chemical factory explosions is, after you have one, you're just going to want another one 19 days later

img.fark.net  Man who can't get his lower teeth returned from his dentist after a billing dispute now feels like an indentured servant

img.fark.net  By 2050 seabirds will have so much plastic in them it will be hard to tell them apart from an average Southern California woman

img.fark.net  ISIS unveils its new currency with gold, silver and copper coins. People are again reminded to always call 'tails' in a coin toss

img.fark.net  Oldest survivor of San Francisco earthquake of 1906 dies, but considering she lived 113 years she got a pretty fair shake

img.fark.net  Kim Davis taken into custody for neglecting her duties. Elected officials everywhere hope the trend doesn't spread

img.fark.net  Pioneer claims that technology from its laserdisc division will improve driverless cars. Not mentioned is if passengers will be required to flip the car half-way to their destination

img.fark.net  Massive 500,000 lb boulder threatening to fall on several structures at the base of a dam in Arizona. Engineers recommend the best way to stop it from falling is to declare the whole area a Road Runner sanctuary

img.fark.net  Man dodges 83 bullets fired by police. Neo unavailable for comment, but is expected to release the following statement: 'Whoa'


Sports:

img.fark.net  Without any resistance, the Yankees complete their march through Atlanta

img.fark.net  Judge Berman pushes Deflate-gate decision back, back, back, back, back

img.fark.net  Judge rules Tom Brady's balls are just fine


Geek:

img.fark.net  Wikipedia editors go rogue, blackmail small businesses and minor celebrities with unflattering entries if they don't pay up [citation needed]

img.fark.net  Monsanto's new super-broccoli packed with engineered nutrients to help you fight cancer and cholesterol, glow in the dark, make you immune to joy, communicate with squids, sweat pharmaceuticals, grow third eye and/or testicle on forehead

img.fark.net  Court strips the lesser prairie chicken of its federal protection. Once again, all the good things only happen to the greater prairie chicken


Entertainment:

img.fark.net  Under the Dome has been cancelled, presumably because the cast learned how to dig

img.fark.net  Kermit in yet another relationship that's not kosher

img.fark.net  Anne Hathaway says she is losing parts to 24-year-olds. Mostly because those actresses have 24-year-old parts


Politics:

img.fark.net  Rowan County clerk summoned for a Come to Jesus meeting

img.fark.net  Following Drew's example for when the servers go down, Hillary's tech guy is taking a fifth. Sorry -- that's taking THE fifth

img.fark.net  Edward Snowden considering suicide


Business:

img.fark.net  General Mills aims to cut greenhouse gas emissions by 28% in 10 years, says first step will be to stop manufacturing its entire line of Fiber One cereals

img.fark.net  LL Been

img.fark.net  U.S. unemployment rate falls to a seven-year low. Do you want fries with that?
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