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Yankees complete their march through Atlanta unimpeded, Kermit in yet another relationship that isn't kosher, and a third eye and/or testicle on the forehead: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 8/30 - 9/5
Posted by Unfreakable at 2015-09-07 9:10:44 AM (0 comments) | Permalink
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1612 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Sep 2015 at 9:19 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Happy Labor Day everyone! Enjoy some of Fark's favorite headlines from last week.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2015-08-30 to Sat 2015-09-05:  Man suffering from constipation for 10 years has 11-pound stool removed. Thank God it wasn't an ottoman  Driver who crashed into home tests positive for pot as well as pan, plate, tv, couch, and chair  The thing about Chinese chemical factory explosions is, after you have one, you're just going to want another one 19 days later  Man who can't get his lower teeth returned from his dentist after a billing dispute now feels like an indentured servant  By 2050 seabirds will have so much plastic in them it will be hard to tell them apart from an average Southern California woman  ISIS unveils its new currency with gold, silver and copper coins. People are again reminded to always call 'tails' in a coin toss  Oldest survivor of San Francisco earthquake of 1906 dies, but considering she lived 113 years she got a pretty fair shake  Kim Davis taken into custody for neglecting her duties. Elected officials everywhere hope the trend doesn't spread  Pioneer claims that technology from its laserdisc division will improve driverless cars. Not mentioned is if passengers will be required to flip the car half-way to their destination  Massive 500,000 lb boulder threatening to fall on several structures at the base of a dam in Arizona. Engineers recommend the best way to stop it from falling is to declare the whole area a Road Runner sanctuary  Man dodges 83 bullets fired by police. Neo unavailable for comment, but is expected to release the following statement: 'Whoa'

Sports:  Without any resistance, the Yankees complete their march through Atlanta  Judge Berman pushes Deflate-gate decision back, back, back, back, back  Judge rules Tom Brady's balls are just fine

Geek:  Wikipedia editors go rogue, blackmail small businesses and minor celebrities with unflattering entries if they don't pay up [citation needed]  Monsanto's new super-broccoli packed with engineered nutrients to help you fight cancer and cholesterol, glow in the dark, make you immune to joy, communicate with squids, sweat pharmaceuticals, grow third eye and/or testicle on forehead  Court strips the lesser prairie chicken of its federal protection. Once again, all the good things only happen to the greater prairie chicken

Entertainment:  Under the Dome has been cancelled, presumably because the cast learned how to dig  Kermit in yet another relationship that's not kosher  Anne Hathaway says she is losing parts to 24-year-olds. Mostly because those actresses have 24-year-old parts

Politics:  Rowan County clerk summoned for a Come to Jesus meeting  Following Drew's example for when the servers go down, Hillary's tech guy is taking a fifth. Sorry -- that's taking THE fifth  Edward Snowden considering suicide

Business:  General Mills aims to cut greenhouse gas emissions by 28% in 10 years, says first step will be to stop manufacturing its entire line of Fiber One cereals  LL Been  U.S. unemployment rate falls to a seven-year low. Do you want fries with that?
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