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Oswald's gravestone will be returned back...and to the left, Oscar Pistorius' cattle grid, and Barry Bonds finds a sport where there's absolutely no doping: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 8/9 - 8/15
Posted by Unfreakable at 2015-08-17 11:07:49 AM (5 comments) | Permalink
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1748 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Aug 2015 at 12:01 PM (3 years ago) | | share: more»
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Thanks for all the great headlines this week, submitters!
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2015-08-09 to Sat 2015-08-15:
"Obama hater, vibrator, and cherry tattooed penis." Opens envelope. "What are a rube, a tube, and a place to put lube"
No, Samuel Adams is not producing a beer infused with helium, despite people speaking very highly about it
Police respond to stabbing incident in Alta Vista, but admit searching for the culprit would have been easier if he had been stabbed in Google
NASA space missions used whale oil for lube until it was banned. Combined with beef cubes for space food and Velcro hook-and-loop fasteners, it's enough to make you say "Whale oil beef hooked"
Cops: Shoplifter hid ribeye steaks in his colostomy bag. The marinating craze is now officially out of hand
Lee Harvey Oswald's gravestone returned to Texas, will be placed back...and to the left
Dozens of men found in boat just off Greek island of Lesbos. Lesbos typically good at finding the man in the canoe
Navajo refuse to sign peace treaty with EPA, say they're not falling for THAT one again
Oscar Pistorius is expected to be fitted with an electronic tag upon his release from prison next week. It was either that or a cattle grid outside his house
Casket remains taken, casket remains
Tour guides outraged that Savannah, GA requires them to pass a history test, say it interferes with their ability to show visitors where Elvis and Abe Lincoln signed the Magna Carta
NFL draft will be held in Chicago for the 2nd year in a row; prompting speculation that maybe Chicago will eventually get an NFL team
The Cleveland Browns have discussed signing Ray Rice, so they can have at least one person that can beat somebody
Barry Bonds, now legally cleared, has turned to another sport: Cycling. Well this proves he's clean. Nobody does drugs in competitive cycling
Men masturbated for science, and here's what came of it
What happens when you ask IBM's Watson to analyze the personalities of Donald Trump, Gary Busey and Kanye West through their words? We learn that computers can cry real tears
DISPLAY "COBOL IS 56 YEARS OLD. WOULD YOU LIKE TO KILL IT?" ACCEPT ShouldCobolDie. DISPLAY "You have chosen to Keep Cobol. Will ask again in 2038" STOP RUN
Winona Ryder says something vague about a Beetlejuice sequel. Media: OK, I BELIEVE YOU
FDA rules Kim Kardashian is neither safe nor effective
So much fun, it will make you kiss your sister
Little House on the Prairie actress running for Congress hopes to have her back taxes paid by 2024, avoiding time in a Big House on the Prairie
Said to be extremely upset at his country's slide toward militarism under Prime Minister Abe, Emperor Akhito is expected to strongly express his displeasure during his annual address; perhaps by frowning slightly, or even obliquely mentioning it
"Can Carly Fiorina Seize Her Moment?" I bet she'll grab it, run with it and then plummet so hard in the polls, she'll have to lay off 30,000 RNC staff members and then the RNC polling will spike once they drop her candidacy
Warren Buffett buys $37B worth of PCP. No wonder the multiple was high
Google: ABC FTW BMW: LOLWUT? Google: FML
Greek economy grows in Q2 on news of tourist, item bought
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