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Actor lucky he was only stabbed with a four-loaf cleaver, smart pants for your dumb ass, and four injured by a fawlty rollercoaster at Alton Towers: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 5/31 - 6/6
Posted by Unfreakable at 2015-06-08 12:18:25 PM (11 comments) | Permalink
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1259 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Jun 2015 at 12:23 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Happy Monday, enjoy the headlines everybody...

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2015-05-31 to Sat 2015-06-06:

img.fark.net  Say what you will, but Hillary would have back pedaled

img.fark.net  Pig terrorizes town and craps in squad car, expected to be suspended two weeks with pay

img.fark.net  Carrion luggage found at Tokyo train station

img.fark.net  Four injured by fawlty rollercoaster at Alton Towers

img.fark.net  Park rangers to bear: "Eat Shih Tzu and die"

img.fark.net  Woman charged with running over seven people with her car. Hopes to pickup the split on acquittal

img.fark.net  "Amateur porn is a case of class struggle." You're only off by two letters

img.fark.net  Actor accidentally stabbed in the stomach with a bread knife during theater performance finishes scene, says he was lucky it was a four loaf cleaver

img.fark.net  Pope appoints the first "auditor general", a lay man answerable only to the pope himself who is free to go anywhere and everywhere in the Vatican to review finances, management practices, etc. Apparently the title "Inquisitor" had too much baggage

img.fark.net  (o\_/o) c= = = mlm (;_;) mlm

img.fark.net  Man with no penis manages to keep it a secret from his girlfriend for an entire year. Apparently it never came up


Sports:

img.fark.net  Yankees embarrass the king. This is not a repeat from 1783

img.fark.net  The Broncos are the next team with deflation issues

img.fark.net  BREAKING: Kyrie Irving's kneecap


Geek:

img.fark.net  Google and Levi's team up to create smart pants, ideal for covering up your dumb ass

img.fark.net  Contrary to what Disney always told us, science finds goofy orbits around Pluto

img.fark.net  The force apprehends stormtrooper outside elementary school with "realistic looking" laser gun. There was no real threat as stormtroopers never hit anything, anyway


Entertainment:

img.fark.net  Shaaaaa mmmm onnnnn nnnnnnn... Shaaaaa mmmmmm onnnnn nnnnnn iiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiit

img.fark.net  Bruce Jenner will now be Caitlyn Jenner, with a C instead of a K. Kris's eyebrow would twitch if it weren't frozen with Botox

img.fark.net  A few parts of Angelina Jolie turn 40 today. Happy birthday, lungs, liver and spleen


Politics:

img.fark.net  North Carolina close to passing anti-abortion legislation, but will have to wait 72 hours before they decide whether it's a good idea or not

img.fark.net  Government of Brownbackistan collapses. Local warlords assume control of key infrastructure

img.fark.net  Rand Paul: Not 100% a Libertarian robot, but #1 with Libertarian robots. *sparks* DESTROY DESTROY


Business:

img.fark.net  After learning about the fire at the Apple plant in Texas last week, North Carolina's Apple data center hopes to avoid patent litigation by going with a chlorine leak instead

img.fark.net  T-Mobile in talks to merge with Dish Network, meaning your calls will get dropped when it rains and your TV will be impossible to hear in a building

img.fark.net  J.P. Morgan eliminates voice mail for its employees. Or as it's now referred to by the goverment, "evidence"
· · ·

11 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2015-06-08 01:06:43 PM  
This thread is lonely, so I will post here.

I like funny headlines.

/If I'm the only poster, and I "smart" and "funny" myself, I win the thread, right?
 
2015-06-08 01:07:28 PM  
Wait! Where are the "smart" and "funny" buttons?
 
2015-06-08 01:07:48 PM  
What a gyp.
 
2015-06-08 01:35:51 PM  

I am Groot: Wait! Where are the "smart" and "funny" buttons?


Drew knew they would be unnecessary, as you were posting.
 
2015-06-08 01:55:03 PM  

I am Groot: Wait! Where are the "smart" and "funny" buttons?


Don't have 'em in most blog posts, like Headline of the Week.
 
2015-06-08 02:54:52 PM  
Hey, I think this is the first time I've gotten a headline of the week.
 
2015-06-08 03:46:21 PM  
Although I can't remember things as well as back when I was only 70, I think the "four loaf cleaver is hands down the all time cleverest headline Fark has had to offer.
My 10",round point, serrated knife is now known as my "lucky knife". Thank you.
/lucky knife has outlasted way more than only 4 loaves
 
2015-06-08 04:00:23 PM  

NeoCortex42: Hey, I think this is the first time I've gotten a headline of the week.


[x] smart
 
2015-06-08 07:39:10 PM  

tigast: Although I can't remember things as well as back when I was only 70, I think the "four loaf cleaver is hands down the all time cleverest headline Fark has had to offer.



Thanks for the compliment. Glad you liked it. Enjoy a month of TotalFark on me.

/subby
 
2015-06-08 08:52:32 PM  

tigast: Although I can't remember things as well as back when I was only 70, I think the "four loaf cleaver is hands down the all time cleverest headline Fark has had to offer.
My 10",round point, serrated knife is now known as my "lucky knife". Thank you.
/lucky knife has outlasted way more than only 4 loaves


Should have went with "cleaverest". Just saying.
 
2015-06-09 12:34:22 AM  

Principal Clarinet: tigast: Although I can't remember things as well as back when I was only 70, I think the "four loaf cleaver is hands down the all time cleverest headline Fark has had to offer.


Thanks for the compliment. Glad you liked it. Enjoy a month of TotalFark on me.

/subby


Thank you so much for the month of TF

It'll be fun to see if it has changed much since I last had it in 2011.


i
 
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