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Thug with a string of priors involved in another shooting, why there is no longer a Carl Senior, and Grindr to sell for a key of meth, a case of poppers, and two gallons of lube: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 5/10 - 5/16
Posted by Unfreakable at 2015-05-18 11:20:29 AM (3 comments) | Permalink
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1710 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 May 2015 at 11:27 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Welcome back, everybody. Got some great headlines this week.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2015-05-10 to Sat 2015-05-16:  Air Canada passenger gives birth at 35,000 feet over Pacific Ocean during flight to Japan, is immediately billed $75 for an extra piece of carry-on  A triumph for DeBlasio environmental policy, as muggers are successfully re-introduced to their native habitat of Central Park  Thug with a string of priors involved in another shooting  Chinese choir drill  Bangladesh blogger gets hacked, partitioned into several smaller pieces  School bus driver of the year arrested for driving at .13 BAC with three dozen kids on board, even though a .15 is the minimum needed to make driving a school bus a bearable occupation  Hacked Starbucks mobile app drains money from customers' accounts. Just like Starbucks  Rub-a-dub-dub, three men in a tub / The butcher, the baker, the candle stick maker / The tub hadn't been cleaned properly / There were no survivors  Dzhokhar Tsarnaev to be remanded into the custody of the Baltimore Police Department  Morsi sentenced to death. Johnny Marr unavailable for comment  Carl's Jr. introduces 1000 calorie burger, with 64 grams of fat, that includes a hamburger patty, hot dog, cheese and potato chips. Which answers the question as to why there is no longer a Carl Senior

Sports:  Jay Cutler's wife pregnant for third time; Bears fans amazed Jay Cutler can hit any target three times  Gay costs US silver medal, no word on the rest of his agenda  Mario Gotze's talent is being wasted at Bayern Munich, says Oliver Kahn. It might seem gapingly obvious, but Kahn's really, really stretching the truth

Geek:  Tokyo construction workers unearth Edo-era human skull fragments, 300 other animal bones at building site that used to be graveyard. Face still lost  New Russian armored vehicle operates via video game controller, making it the grittiest Call of Duty reboot EVAR  Stephen Hawking says that computers will overtake humans within 100 years. Which is an interesting statement coming from someone who wouldn't be able to speak without his keyboard-activated synthesized voice

Entertainment:  Rob Lowe celebrates 25 years sober. Bad Rob Lowe celebrates 25 years of snorting blow off the asses of high school girls  Fox is developing another version of 24, this time without Jack Bauer. WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS  Courtney Love owes her psychiatrist $48,000. It's now the biggest claim against her since the 200,000 people who bought "America's Sweetheart"

Politics:  GOP presidential candidate Dr. Ben Carson says his tax plan comes directly from the Bible, which should ensure our economy is ready to face the complex challenges of the upcoming "Iron Age"  Another week, another domino falls in the house of cards built on shifting sand that is the Damocles' Sword falling in the forest of Hillary Clinton's campaign  House: lesser chicken not greater than greater good pursuit of lesser oppression in the name of greater freedom and lesser greatness lessening

Business:  The company that makes the "dating" app Grindr putting itself up for sale. Asking price reportedly a key of meth, a case of poppers, and two gallons of lube  Millennials have now passed Generation X as the largest share of the U.S. workforce. Mostly because businesses have finally embraced the technology to allow people to work out of their basement  Moody's cuts Chicago's credit rating from White Sox to Cubs
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3 Comments     (+0 »)
2015-05-18 11:31:39 AM  
The Hillary headline made my head hurty - the sign of an excellent submission.
2015-05-18 02:35:09 PM  

Speaker2Animals: The Hillary headline made my head hurty - the sign of an excellent submission.

There can be only one.
2015-05-18 03:42:53 PM  
Lesser greatness lessening should be somebody's campaign slogan.
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