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GermanWings meets FrenchAlps, a collapse in New York that somehow doesn't involve the Mets, and Shi'ites about to be on fire, yo: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 3/22 - 3/28
Posted by Unfreakable at 2015-03-30 10:17:10 AM (7 comments) | Permalink
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951 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Mar 2015 at 10:20 AM (4 years ago) | | share: more»
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Happy Monday, everybody! Enjoy the headlines
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2015-03-22 to Sat 2015-03-28:
Rare quadruplet calves born. Milk now comes from de-calf-inated cow
Tour operators report a boom in bookings for Cuba before US culture takes over. Filled with poverty, mass-murderers and second-rate healthcare, the US is to the north west of Cuba
Stunt man runs 645 feet while on fire, breaking record previously held by Richard Pryor
GermanWings meets FrenchAlps
Church of Scientology LA hosts disaster preparedness open house and expo to prepare Los Angelenos for disasters like earthquakes, wildfires, hydrogen bomb volcano explosions, the return of Xenu, and worst of all, a Battlefield Earth sequel
Heroic elephants keep tractor-trailer from overturning before returning to their life of being enslaved by psychopathic clowns
Bergdahl faces desertion charges, not something you can just walk away from
It was the co-pilot, in the cockpit, with the joystick
A collapse in New York that doesn't involve The Mets
Amanda Knox, who was found guilty, not guilty, and guilty again, has now been found not guilty again. Prosecution demands an elimination trial to see who will take 3 out of 5
OOOOk-lahoma, where the measles comes from riding on the plane
John Harbaugh wants Ray Rice back in the NFL as soon as he's beaten all his demons
Dean Smith caught paying his student athletes
"A white man allegedly punched former St. Louis Cardinal Curt Ford in the St. Louis area." Well, at least he didn't kick him in the Florida
In largest study ever, Iceland completes DNA makeup of the entire nation. Genes for skin color found ranging from pale, to ashen, to pasty
Rube Goldberg was the great satirist of his time, starting when he put pen to paper, paper slipped off table and startled parrot, which alit from perch connected to pulley which turned axle hooked to old boot that kicked large woman in the ass
NASA can't wait to try out its new "over the shoulder boulder holder" technique to save the earth from massive asteroid impact. Actually, like geeks everywhere, they're *really* looking forward to figuring out how to unhook the damn thing
Brian Williams makes first public comments since his six-month NBC suspension during visit to his former high school, fondly recalls scoring the winning touchdown at homecoming, putting out a cafeteria grease fire, and banging the prom queen and her runner-up in a three-way
Crosby, Spills, and Crash
Angelina Jolie has ovaries removed so they won't become cancerous some day. Brad Pitt reportedly considering building new wife out of all her spare parts
Shi'ites about to be on fire, yo
Chris Christie says marijuana tax revenue is blood money: "I experimented with cannabis once in college. I got so hungry I wound up eating a family of four. Bones, hair, clothes, everything"
Grover Norquist and Glenn Beck essentially call each other fat and stupid for 15 minutes, never realizing they're both right
90,000 cases of frozen spinach products recalled after causing severe abdominal pain, blindness in one eye, huge forearm tumors
After a 50 year run, there are now but two Howard Johnson's left in America. Isn't somebody going to help that poor chain?
You put ketchup on your mac and cheese and think "God , it sucks to be this poor"; Warren Buffet thinks, "now that's a GREAT idea for a corporate merger that will make me a billion dollars"
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