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Really slow tourist killed by glacier, Methodists reach new high under Obama, and Virgin Mobile becomes Technical Virgin Mobile: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 3/1 - 3/7
Posted by Unfreakable at 2015-03-09 3:35:21 AM (1 comment) | Permalink
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2917 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Mar 2015 at 9:16 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Happy Monday, everybody. Enjoy some of our favorite headlines from last week. For you submitters: hope you have one or more in the mix.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2015-03-01 to Sat 2015-03-07:  Italian tourist killed by glacier in Alaska. How slow was that guy?  "Why do men with girlfriends look at other women?" Wait, is this a trick question?  Like a Good Neighbor, State Farm is There  Dzhokhar Tsarnaev's lawyer opens trial by admitting his client blew up Boston Marathon. Check back today for admission that his client caused global warming and Honey Boo Boo  Dog rescued after being shot and tied to tracks. Suspect is identified as wearing all black with a black hat, cape and a handlebar moustache  Ringling Brothers Circus agrees to stop featuring elephants due to allegations of abuse, elephants declare they will never forget  Han solo he hit the ground  Employee stunned after being told he's late for work  Man killed by crossbow in national park. Police suspect the death was the result of a quarrel  Spiderman, Spiderman helps the homeless in Birmingham, food and drinks, any size, and now the homeless all have smiles, LOOK OUT, here comes the Spiderman (w/pics)  Revolting ruthless reprobates ruin ruins, remain remorseless

Sports:  Remember Wilt Chamberlain's claim that out of his 20,000 conquests he never fathered a child? Well, apparently there was one unassisted dunk  The Patriots have declined to pick up the option on Vince Wilfork, thus creating two open roster spots  Cardinals' QB Carson Palmer ready to "rock n roll" for next season, which is appropriate, as every season he gets rocked and then rolls around on the ground in agony

Geek:  DNA Analysis of the Paracas Skulls Proves They Are Not Human. And the submission link thingy says the "Link checks out OK" so it's true, right?  Windows 10 will run on wearable devices, although if Bill Gates thinks I'm dropping down 85 versions from my desktop OS he's sadly mistaken  Charles Darwin's cousin invented the dog whistle - something you've probably never heard

Entertainment:  Happy Birthday to Karen Carpenter, who would have been 65 pounds today  Kim Kardashian says she's having sex 500 times a day. Hmm, maybe Kanye should let her finish  Porn legend Asia Carrera arrested for blowing twice the legal limit. There's a legal limit?

Politics:  Mark Levin: "Rape highest in modern times under Obama." Also racism, sexism, men's rights groups, assholes, mugs, pugs, Indian agents, Mexican bandits and Methodists  Over 300 Republicans call for SCOTUS to recognize gay marriage nationally. Will henceforth be known as Democrats  Fox News columnist believes President Obama has gone rogue, says everyone should be careful not to touch him or he will drain them of their superpowers

Business:  Buying a used electric car? Finally, no more sticker shock  Virgin Mobile to allow rollover, will henceforth be known as "Technical Virgin Mobile"  Mall mammoth Simon Property Group looking to buy smaller competitor Macerich to create America's largest collection of decaying empty retail space
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1 Comment     (+0 »)
2015-03-09 01:49:20 PM  
My attempt at quantity of greens is killing my quality of headlines. May need to rethink my strategy here ...
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