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Pope Francis to clinch the NLDS this year, after-market stick shifts outlawed in Russia, and Calvin Klein enlarges a giant dick: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 1/4 - 1/10
Posted by Unfreakable at 2015-01-12 11:18:31 AM (5 comments) | Permalink
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1586 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jan 2015 at 11:21 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Thanks for some great headlines this week, submitters! Will be looking to several of these in the contests at the end of the year.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2015-01-04 to Sat 2015-01-10:  Pope Francis announces his starting lineup of fifteen Cardinals, virtually guaranteeing they'll clinch the NLDS this year  Solent green ship grounding believed to be intentional; it was PEOPLE  Doe, a deer, a wounded deer; Ray, a hunter with a bow; Me, the guy who found the link; Far, the distance to a doc; So, now karma got its wish; Laugh, I hope you will with me; Tee-he-e-e-e-e-e; Dad, the one who was attacked; which brings us back to DOH  Study shows that women who want to quit smoking should wait until right before their period to quit, which should make for a fun week  Irish anti-gay group launches "Sounds of Sodomy" campaign. Welsh chapter expected to alter the slogan to "Silence of the Lambs"  Daimler's self-driving concept car turns into living room, which is kind of what everyone's worried about  More Americans dying of dysentery than ever before  Russia bans driving with an after-market stick shift  In the Justin Bieber shoot Calvin Klein made the dick look bigger. They also enlarged his groin  Couple arrested for getting Lucky in the sack  Stop me if you've heard this one before...George Zimmerman arrested on aggravated assault ch  

Sports:  Home of Panthers coach Ron Rivera damaged in fire. Every Arizona Cardinals fan now a suspect  With a tainted Heisman, a mile long rap sheet, and fresh off an ass-kicking on national TV, Jameis Winston does the only thing a two-bit quarterback can do - enter the NFL draft  One if by land. Two if by sea. Five if chosen by the USOC  

Geek:  Zuckerberg starting a book club. Everyone expected to read the first few sentences then randomly flip pages for the next three minutes  Shopping app usage is up 174% over last year. Mostly from people still hospitalized from injuries sustained on Black Friday 2013  Perpetual motion device unveiled at CES. Inventors immediately arrested for breaking the laws of thermodynamics  

Entertainment:  Police doubt fire was accidental  Bill Cosby has "wonderful time" in first show since November although no one else remembers it happening  If (profits = productionCosts) then {printf("let it go");}  

Politics:  FCC to vote on new net neutrality proposal in February, pending any speeding up or slowing down of existing legislation  Harry Reid wants you to know that his broken ribs and broken face came from exercising at home with his personal trainers Moose and Rocco  "Why Warren Won't Run" because she's said no every time you ask her and standing outside her window with a boombox playing "In Your Eyes" isn't going to change that  

Business:  PayPal founder Elon Musk's second wife says "get ready to pay, pal"  Monster sues Beats. Evidently they had a patent on the idea of mixing $5 worth of technology with $150 worth of marketing and selling the item for $329.99  Target wants to hook up with fat chicks, but not be seen in public with them
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5 Comments     (+0 »)
2015-01-12 12:03:55 PM  
The self-driving car one is absolutely brilliant.
2015-01-12 04:43:08 PM  
Gotta go with the sound of music one. Man that is clever.
2015-01-12 05:12:56 PM  

Wizzywig: Gotta go with the sound of music one. Man that is clever.

While I appreciate the not, it did have a fatal flaw.  I shall endeavor to do better.
2015-01-12 07:35:46 PM  
Russia tops my list. What arsebuscuits!
2015-01-12 10:49:19 PM  
Boy are these good
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