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Cam Newton drive ends in turnover, the Origin of Feces, and the EPA to regulate eagle tears: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 12/7 - 12/13
Posted by Unfreakable at 2014-12-15 10:07:02 AM (7 comments) | Permalink
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1220 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Dec 2014 at 10:09 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Getting down to the end of the year. Keep an eye out this week for the quarterfinals of Fark's Headline of the Year contest. First threads will be greenlit this week...

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2014-12-07 to Sat 2014-12-13:  After four years of asking countries to take six Guantanamo detainees, DoD sends them to Uruguay. Apparently they asked in alphabetical order  Neighborhood residents claim flood of raw sewage evolved from runoff from wastewater treatment facility, although facility spokespeople dispute the origin of the feces  Man with prosthetic right hand has it stolen from his truck, now has only one left  Southern California braces for severe storm and water spouts. Structures, itsy bitsy spiders, threatened  Cockroach pieces found in Japanese ramen noodles. Not sure if bug or feature  Time capsule buried by Paul Revere and Sam Adams discovered in Boston. Contents include rare coins, quart of beer, wiffleball bat  Tree limb used as weapon in robbery attempt. No word if the perp said "This is a stick up"  A murder in Ohio  Alleged 9/11 conspirator says he "holds no grudge" against CIA for torturing him. Then adds "that's what you wanted to hear, right? Please, don't hurt me"  "Here's some of the stolen Lindt chocolate we've recovered," the police said cordially  71 year old man wakes up to 33 year old woman getting into bed with him. Unfortunately, she was still in her car  

Sports:  Another Cam Newton drive ends in turnover  Chryst has risen  Solo asks for charges to be dismissed, claims Greedo shot first  

Geek:  Game over, man  The Pill remains the most popular form of birth control, closely followed by getting a TF subscription  How to update Xperia Z3 with Android 5.0 Lollipop via unofficial CyanogenMod 12 ROM. Or you could like, just go outside for just once  

Entertainment:  Barack and Michelle Obama romance film coming. First movie based on a presidential marriage since Hillary considered "Kill Bill"  Who wants to see Selena Gomez's bleached asshole?  Keira Knightley is happy to announce she will now be eating for one  

Politics:  EPA to regulate all puddles of water; eagle tears  The law in its majestic equality allows the rich and poor alike to donate $327,000 to their favorite political parties  Scott Walker would like to say Molotov to his Jewish friends. He wishes he could sit Chivas with them and would like to close with a hearty Slalom Shazbot  

Business:  Gallup Poll says U.S. small business optimism is at its highest since 2008. Probably because before 2008, today's small businesses were still big businesses  Only 30% of college freshmen know how much they have borrowed in student loans. The other 70% apparently took their math courses at colleges in the SEC  Gallup poll says 9% of Americans will not be buying any Christmas gifts. Those people are called your boss
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7 Comments     (+0 »)
2014-12-15 10:14:22 AM  
Ha! I made the list! I made the list! =D

I have a toddler. "Itsy Bitsy Spider" is frequently on my mind.
2014-12-15 10:30:18 AM  

BKITU: Ha! I made the list! I made the list! =D

I have a toddler. "Itsy Bitsy Spider" is frequently on my mind.


I made the list once, was amusing to see someone enjoyed my drunken humor.
2014-12-15 10:40:05 AM  
And of course they select the Cam Newton headline that was ripped off from the comments in previous day's thread.
2014-12-15 10:53:33 AM  
I still chuckle over Selina Gomez. Yes she has a bleached asshole.
2014-12-15 03:04:44 PM  
Sweet. Haven't had a featured headline in ages, even if I had to steal from a French philosopher.
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2014-12-15 08:14:44 PM  
I just wanted to say I shamelessly stole a headline theme from myself this week.
2014-12-16 06:38:14 AM  
How did this not make the cut?
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