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A letter from summer camp Al-Fatwa, Leonardo DiCaprio celebrates his birthday like the rest of us, and new Yemen government hopes to make it to Wednesday: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 11/9 - 11/15
Posted by Unfreakable at 2014-11-17 8:29:38 AM (0 comments) | Permalink
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1321 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Nov 2014 at 8:43 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Happy Monday, everybody. Just a reminder that we're down to two weeks left in November, and with that, the cutoff for the 2014 Headline of the Year contest. It's not too late to have one of your headlines in consideration. Also a reminder that voting on the preliminaries is restricted to Totalfarkers only, so if you want to help winnow down the candidates, now's the time to drop a fiver in preparation.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2014-11-09 to Sat 2014-11-15:  Why do some high schools have 'mean girls' and others don't? This is not clique bait  Inventor of CorningWare has died in New York. His wake will feature lots and lots of casseroles  Brooklyn longshoreman suing for sexual harassment, says a male supervisor once tried to slip a finger in his back dock even though that's an unloading zone only  12-year-old boy finally rescued from IKEA after six-day search. No word on if any parts are missing  Secret Service reveals there were 40 White House fence jumping incidents over the past five years. However, most were officials in the Obama Administration  Time magazine includes "feminist" in their worst words poll. Naturally, this is upsetting the broad percentage of the populace  USPS loses cremated ashes of man's wife. Funeral held. Remains to be seen  Thor resigns from his crime-fighting organization after stalking accusations. Hail HYDRA  Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah, I am writing from camp al-Fatwah. Holy war is very entertaining. They say we'll kill some infidels when bombs stop raining  Five-year-old boy passes exam to become Microsoft Certified Professional in spite of being younger than most Microsoft bugs  Man arrested after TSA agents find cocaine hidden in raw meat. Charges filed by U.S. DA  

Sports:  Former UNC football player to sue University for failing to "legitimately educate football players in exchange for their participation in athletics." Will begin proceedings as soon as he learns to spell 'lawyer'  FIFA internal corruption investigation finds no internal corruption in FIFA, no American tanks in Baghdad  Brett Favre releases pic of his 2005 QB wristband which shows 70 different codes for "Y'all run down that way and I'll chuck it up for grabs. BREAK"  

Geek:  9,000-year-old mummified bison found, will be examined by researchers and then returned to the local Sizzler  In response to complaints about abuse and harassment of women on its service, Twitter will take a stand against ethics in gaming journalism  Women now reach their sexual peak at age 26. Men still holding fast at 19 years, 3 months, 2 days, at 1:45pm  

Entertainment:  Bob Dylan once proposed making an album with the Beatles and Rolling Stones. Either that, or he said he preferred bagels, likes eating rolls and scones  Leonardo DiCaprio turns 40 today, will celebrate by having sex with a supermodel on a pile of money, which is just the way you spent it except the 'sex with a supermodel' was crying and the 'pile of money' was the futon you got in the divorce  Bob Barker donates $500,000 to help save circus animals in Peru, narrowly outbidding other philanthropist who only wanted to donate $499,999  

Politics:  Yemen has another government. Good for them. Let's see if this one can make it to Wednesday  Scientists: "If conservatives don't like the solution, they deny that there is a problem." Conservatives: "Duke sucks"  Jane Byrne, the only woman to serve as mayor of Chicago, has died, will vote for Hillary in 2016  

Business:  Wall Street buries Caesars  China poised to be a TOP performer in terms of SPEED and SIZE... that's what *Xi* said  Xerox won't hit earnings next year Xerox won't hit earnings next y███
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