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Putting out a face fire with a golf shoe, an Oontz of prevention, and bad news for Aunt Ebola: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 10/26 - 11/1
Posted by Unfreakable at 2014-11-03 6:47:23 AM (10 comments) | Permalink
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1716 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Nov 2014 at 6:54 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Quite a few good headlines this week, but the two that made me laugh are the OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ of prevention, and the description of how anybody might be mistaken for Manuel Noriega under the right circumstances. Thanks for the laughs, you magnificent submitters.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2014-10-26 to Sat 2014-11-01:

img.fark.net  Mother of drug overdose victim urges harm reduction for drug use at raves, claiming a pound of cure is worth less than an OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ of prevention  

img.fark.net  Baby wipe recall issued. Turns out sriracha flavor was not all that popular  

img.fark.net  Chicken Noodle News now reporting this ebola/zombie outbreak can be traced back to a two year old in Guinea. HOWEVER THEY CANNOT CONFIRM OR DENY IF HE WAS ON FLIGHT MH 370....DETAILS DEVELOPING...PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STAY TUNED  

img.fark.net  100-year-old notebook from Robert Falcon Scott's last Antarctic expedition found frozen in ice at south pole. Scribbled on the last page is a cryptic note: "Man, those Samoans are a surly bunch"  

img.fark.net  Lava flows in Hawaii moving towards homes at a brisk pace of 10 yards, or one Raiders offensive drive, per hour  

img.fark.net  Arizona high school defends its nickname of the Redskins. Apparently it isn't referring to Native Americans, but rather what happens to residents who go outside for five minutes without sunscreen  

img.fark.net  Manuel Noriega's lawsuit claiming Call of Duty unlawfully used his likeness thrown out of court after Activision successfully argues its character wasn't Noriega, just some guy whose face caught fire before it was put out with a golf shoe  

img.fark.net  Las Vegas FBI engineered an internet outage so they could send in agents disguised as repairmen to gather evidence. My god, Comcast makes sense now  

img.fark.net  Scientists vaccinate wild koalas against chlamydia after abstinence only program fails to stop spread of disease  

img.fark.net  Man rowing across Atlantic attacked by pirates of the Caribbean, claims he only managed to survive once the pirates were attacked and killed by Disney copyright lawyers  

img.fark.net  Good Samaritans help gather cash from armored truck spill.... Hey, where'd they go?  


Sports:

img.fark.net  Giants honor Robin Williams at World Series, presumably by making the Royals choke  

img.fark.net  Mike Tyson talks about how when he was young, a creepy old man snatched him off the street and abused him. In addition to his time with Don King, Tyson also revealed he was molested as a child  

img.fark.net  New York Yankees officially reinstate Alex Rodriguez, as he now falls under the league's new "12 strikes and you're out" policy  


Geek:

img.fark.net  LEDs shed new light on Sistine Chapel ceiling. How the semen stains got up there is anyone's guess  

img.fark.net  New nanomaterial converts 90% of captured light into heat, surpassing the previous record held by "dashboard of a Toyota Sienna"  

  Researchers find psychedelic mushrooms allow brains to hyperconnect, walls to breathe  


Entertainment:

img.fark.net  Ugly Kid Joe announces they will record a new record this year. "This is the best news I've heard all week," said the year 1992  

img.fark.net  Downton Abbey plan to put Isis (the dog) down, due to concerns over her name. This does not bode well for Aunt Ebola  

img.fark.net  Neil Patrick Harris unveils his five year plan to become the next Ed Sullivan. He's got a really big shoe to fill. Really big shoe  


Politics:

img.fark.net  Nebraskans cry out "Run, Mitt, Run" but unfortunately not while carrying pitchforks and torches  

img.fark.net  Bill O'Reilly calls his own audience "simply dumb." PunditFact to rate his statement 'Mostly true'  

img.fark.net  The UN has voted 23 times to repeal 50-year-old Cuban embargo. Only 31 more votes to tie with four-year-old Affordable Care Act  


Business:

  CBS to launch 24-hour digital news network. Which is pretty ambitious for a network whose average viewer still has a VCR flashing "12:00"  

  The Fed says the QE is over, it's all clear sailing from here on in. Except for that iceberg straight ahead.. and that one over there.. and  

img.fark.net  Kellogg's sales are not grrrreat
· · ·

10 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2014-11-03 07:19:45 AM  

macross87: Oontz was genius.....


Oontz and Robin Williams had a spirited battle for top votes for a couple of days.
 
2014-11-03 07:21:45 AM  
I saw oontz and I was all:

3.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
 
2014-11-03 07:25:34 AM  
Where's the face fire story?  I don't see the link
 
2014-11-03 07:29:56 AM  

GrahamManning: Where's the face fire story?  I don't see the link



It wasn't actually about a face fire, just a good headline referring to Manuel Noriega's suit against Activision:

http://www.fark.com/comments/8470673
 
2014-11-03 07:52:47 AM  
"OONTZ" should at least be in the running for HOTY.
 
2014-11-03 08:16:09 AM  
I confess, I dont quite get the "OONTZ" reference.  Could someone please be kind enough to elaborate.
 
2014-11-03 08:25:18 AM  

jbrad47128: I confess, I dont quite get the "OONTZ" reference.  Could someone please be kind enough to elaborate.


It is the only sound heard in techno music, which is popular at raves.
 
2014-11-03 08:35:19 AM  

Pants full of macaroni!!: jbrad47128: I confess, I dont quite get the "OONTZ" reference.  Could someone please be kind enough to elaborate.

It is the only sound heard in techno music, which is popular at raves.


Guess I'm showing my age... and/or my lack of experience with the :"rave" culture.  Thank you.
 
2014-11-03 10:39:02 AM  
Noriega, ah yes. The guy who just looks like the guy who's face-fire was put out by a golf shoe.

/its not an insult if its the truth, right?
 
2014-11-03 12:13:11 PM  

jbrad47128: Pants full of macaroni!!: jbrad47128: I confess, I dont quite get the "OONTZ" reference.  Could someone please be kind enough to elaborate.

It is the only sound heard in techno music, which is popular at raves.

Guess I'm showing my age... and/or my lack of experience with the :"rave" culture.  Thank you.


Well, not everyone is familiar with the sound of the vioontzaphone because most orchestras have not yet adopted it.
 
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