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Putting out a face fire with a golf shoe, an Oontz of prevention, and bad news for Aunt Ebola: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 10/26 - 11/1
Posted by Unfreakable at 2014-11-03 6:47:23 AM (10 comments) | Permalink
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1716 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Nov 2014 at 6:54 AM (4 years ago) | | share: more»
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Quite a few good headlines this week, but the two that made me laugh are the OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ of prevention, and the description of how anybody might be mistaken for Manuel Noriega under the right circumstances. Thanks for the laughs, you magnificent submitters.
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2014-10-26 to Sat 2014-11-01:
Mother of drug overdose victim urges harm reduction for drug use at raves, claiming a pound of cure is worth less than an OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ of prevention
Baby wipe recall issued. Turns out sriracha flavor was not all that popular
Chicken Noodle News now reporting this ebola/zombie outbreak can be traced back to a two year old in Guinea. HOWEVER THEY CANNOT CONFIRM OR DENY IF HE WAS ON FLIGHT MH 370....DETAILS DEVELOPING...PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STAY TUNED
100-year-old notebook from Robert Falcon Scott's last Antarctic expedition found frozen in ice at south pole. Scribbled on the last page is a cryptic note: "Man, those Samoans are a surly bunch"
Lava flows in Hawaii moving towards homes at a brisk pace of 10 yards, or one Raiders offensive drive, per hour
Arizona high school defends its nickname of the Redskins. Apparently it isn't referring to Native Americans, but rather what happens to residents who go outside for five minutes without sunscreen
Manuel Noriega's lawsuit claiming Call of Duty unlawfully used his likeness thrown out of court after Activision successfully argues its character wasn't Noriega, just some guy whose face caught fire before it was put out with a golf shoe
Las Vegas FBI engineered an internet outage so they could send in agents disguised as repairmen to gather evidence. My god, Comcast makes sense now
Scientists vaccinate wild koalas against chlamydia after abstinence only program fails to stop spread of disease
Man rowing across Atlantic attacked by pirates of the Caribbean, claims he only managed to survive once the pirates were attacked and killed by Disney copyright lawyers
Good Samaritans help gather cash from armored truck spill.... Hey, where'd they go?
Giants honor Robin Williams at World Series, presumably by making the Royals choke
Mike Tyson talks about how when he was young, a creepy old man snatched him off the street and abused him. In addition to his time with Don King, Tyson also revealed he was molested as a child
New York Yankees officially reinstate Alex Rodriguez, as he now falls under the league's new "12 strikes and you're out" policy
LEDs shed new light on Sistine Chapel ceiling. How the semen stains got up there is anyone's guess
New nanomaterial converts 90% of captured light into heat, surpassing the previous record held by "dashboard of a Toyota Sienna"
Researchers find psychedelic mushrooms allow brains to hyperconnect, walls to breathe
Ugly Kid Joe announces they will record a new record this year. "This is the best news I've heard all week," said the year 1992
Downton Abbey plan to put Isis (the dog) down, due to concerns over her name. This does not bode well for Aunt Ebola
Neil Patrick Harris unveils his five year plan to become the next Ed Sullivan. He's got a really big shoe to fill. Really big shoe
Nebraskans cry out "Run, Mitt, Run" but unfortunately not while carrying pitchforks and torches
Bill O'Reilly calls his own audience "simply dumb." PunditFact to rate his statement 'Mostly true'
The UN has voted 23 times to repeal 50-year-old Cuban embargo. Only 31 more votes to tie with four-year-old Affordable Care Act
CBS to launch 24-hour digital news network. Which is pretty ambitious for a network whose average viewer still has a VCR flashing "12:00"
The Fed says the QE is over, it's all clear sailing from here on in. Except for that iceberg straight ahead.. and that one over there.. and
Kellogg's sales are not grrrreat
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