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Drinking with Andre the Giant, Spokane finds some good shiat, and man finds that turtles in his pants were so happy together: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 9/21 - 9/27
Posted by Unfreakable at 2014-09-29 5:47:15 AM (0 comments) | Permalink
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617 clicks; posted to Publicity » on 29 Sep 2014 at 8:10 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Some quality headlines last week. Well done, submitters.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2014-09-21 to Sat 2014-09-27:  Mary bit a little Lamb, his face was white as snow. And the reason Mr. Lamb got bit, well his penis was where it shouldn't go  Step 1: Take Ken doll. Step 2: Dress him like religious figure. Step 3: Prophet  Spokane may start testing its sewage for levels of THC to gauge pot use in the city. That's some good shiat man  Dallas sightseeing company takes a shot at attracting tourists  University of Delaware student claims professor offered her an A for an F  Teacher refuses to serve the batch of vagina cookies that a mother whipped up for the second graders. Maybe she didn't bring a muff for everybody?  Canadian man caught with 51 turtles in his pants, says they all seemed so happy together  "Doctor Who Ordered Pain Meds, Charged With Patient Death." These Time Lords are getting out of hand  Bear wandering aimlessly around Vancouver neighborhood described at "fat and lazy," answers to the name "Luongo"  Hac in hora / Sine Mora / Corde pulsum tangite / Quod per sortem / Sternit fortem / Mecum omnes plangite  Armed white man shot in Ferguson  

Sports:  Hope Solo believes The Fappening went "beyond the bounds of human decency", wishes she could punch the people responsible like they were family members  Student body to fill Beavers's holes for Tinkle  Terry Crews discusses the NFL's domestic violence problem, and how locker room culture makes players hate everybody... especially Chris  

Geek:  Snail thought to be extinct since 2007 found about three feet away  What you need to know about plutonium: it saved the Apollo 13 astronauts' lives, it powers the Mars rover, it was created at UC Berkeley, it's helping treat cancer, and it's named after the Disney dog. That last fact is pure Pu  Did the universe originate from a hyper-dimensional black hole? A new theory, but kinda hard to wrap your brane around  

Entertainment:  Cary Elwes remembers drinking with Andre the Giant. Highly unlikely, because if you can remember drinking with Andre the Giant, you weren't drinking with Andre the Giant  Kris Jenner files for divorce. Bruce remains expressionless  The Situation gets indicted on charges of $8.9M tax fraud. The fact that he had $8.9M with which to defraud anyone is the saddest situation ever known to mankind  

Politics:  Bainimarama claims victory in Fiji election. Also claims to be your venus, fire, desire  When Kansas Governor Brownback pledged to plug the hole in state revenues, I don't think this is what he meant  Sarah Palin: "The truth is an endangered species at 1400 Pennsylvania Avenue." Otter: "1400?" Boon: "Forget it, she's rollin'"  

Business:  Price of lemons reaches record levels due to California drought, fewer harvests, additional dealer prep charges by GM  Victoria Beckham opens first retail store in London offering fashion for women as large as a size zero  McDonald's headquarters evacuated after a digital media player was mistaken for a bomb and officials worried it could blow the whole place into robble robble
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