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Atlanta Falcons team suspended after video emerges showing savage beating of Tampa Bay, MIT researchers trying to imagine what a real breast is like, and man takes 1d8 damage from short spear: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 9/14 - 9/20
Posted by Unfreakable at 2014-09-22 9:16:21 AM (4 comments) | Permalink
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2946 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Sep 2014 at 9:26 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Pushing headlines of the week a little earlier now that the newsletter comes out on Mondays--want to get a few of these mixed in. Cheers

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2014-09-14 to Sat 2014-09-20:  Navy suspends search for missing F-18 pilot in western Pacific, CNN vows to keep speculating  World's first 3D printed car unveiled in Chicago, immediately declared inferior by lovers of New York style 3D printing  I scream, You scream, We all scream when someone opens fire on an ice cream truck  First Australian mosquito to be seen in North America found in L.A. county, seemed to find itself in a variety of cultural misunderstandings leading ultimately to a heartworming ending  British tourists killed in Thailand. Police recover bloody garden hoe. Without more sodding evidence or chuffing witnesses police are flummoxed  Man repeatedly calls 911 to complain that he doesn't have a refrigerator. DUDE, CHILL  Bertha is stuck in the mud. BORING  Al Qaeda's new South Asia wing almost took over a Pakistani frigate, but Pakistani Navy got lucky with a hit on A1  I've topped the wind-swept heights with easy grace where never lark nor even eagle flew-and, while with silent lifting mind I've trod the high untrespassed sanctity of space, put out my hand, and touched the face of  Free Cat  Man takes 1d8 damage from short spear while attempting to burgle the home of a medieval weapons enthusiast  

Sports:  Nike sticking with Adrian Peterson for now, say they hope to be known as the premier athletic shoe with which to discipline children  Good: Cubs fan catches homerun ball. Bad: Loses wedding ring during celebration. Good: Grounds crew locates ring and returns it. Cubs players said they would have helped look but they have no idea what a ring is  The entire Atlanta Falcons team has been suspended under the NFL's domestic violence policy after video surfaced of the merciless beating they placed on Tampa Bay  

Geek:  MIT researchers attempt to make a better breast pump. Difficulty: Finding an MIT researcher who has ever seen a real breast  Hi, I'm Clippy. It looks like you're trying to dig a mine  Here's an in-depth article on why people procrastinate. Bookmark it so you can read it later  

Entertainment:  Chad Kroeger and Avril Lavigne are divorcing, unclear who gets custody of 2002  Johnny Cash's Rolls Royce is headed to auction. The car was reportedly acquired one piece at a time, is listed as a '49, '50, '51, '52, '53, '54, '55, '56, '57, '58, '59 automobile  Zachary Quinto says Star Trek III: The Search for Plot will begin filming in six months  

Politics:  Religious conservatives ban teaching of evolution in schools  Crist was beat, Crist has risen, Crist will be beat again  Chris Christie defends mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, bull dykes, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shiat-kickers, and Methodists  

Business:  PODS storage firm to be sold for $1 billion to buyer, who still has to find a place to put it  DELETE FROM tblOracleEmployees WHERE strName = 'Larry Ellison' AND strJobTitle ' = 'CEO';  Microsoft makes 2100 employees disappear from their desk top
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4 Comments     (+0 »)
2014-09-22 10:16:50 AM  
woohoo! I'm back with an almost clean sweep of the politics tab!
2014-09-22 11:34:37 AM  
The SPORTS headline about the Atlanta Falcons gets my vote hands down.  Very timely and non-cliche'.
2014-09-22 11:50:34 AM  

StrikitRich: The SPORTS headline about the Atlanta Falcons gets my vote hands down.  Very timely and non-cliche'.

Yeah.  That's the front runner in the sports HOTY in my book.
2014-09-22 01:14:55 PM  
There's a lot going on that Cubs headline, but I like it ...
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