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Joan Rivers' face dies at 25, Josh Gordon becomes a dealer, and a visit to Lake Flowbegone: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 8/31 - 9/6
Posted by Unfreakable at 2014-09-08 12:38:00 PM (1 comment) | Permalink
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1634 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Sep 2014 at 4:08 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

A good week for headlines. Hope you all like them as much as I did.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2014-08-31 to Sat 2014-09-06:  Designer thinks the ghost of John Belushi still hovers over her store. Over? Did you say, 'over?'  Looks like ISIS is about to get some... *puts on sunglasses*... Kurds in their way  A fireworks explosion at a wedding killed two people, leaving guests shocked and upset. Even the cake was in tiers  Officials investigate why, for the second consecutive September, somebody fell several stories during a party at an MIT fraternity. Subby is betting on gravity again  Cobra loose in LA suburb. Thankfully, residents have been warned and know to protect themselves, and knowing is half the battle  Woman accused of hoarding collies threatened with jail after judge tires of her Lassie-faire attitude  US Doctor with Ebola arrives in Nebraska, will be treated in special isolation unit which consists of being in Nebraska  The NYPD can't tell the difference between Jolly Ranchers and Crystal Methamphetamine. So stick that in your pipe and smoke it. The meth that is. You can't smoke Jolly Ranchers  Cemetery worker's condition upgraded from grave to critical  Scientist finds keywords in emails between partners show who holds power in relationship. Explanation for Farkers: A relationship is a strong and close association between two people that involves physical and emotional intimacy  #$*^&^&%$ **boing** @@$#$#@ **boing** &*#%$@@# **boing**  

Sports:  James Harrison announces retirement. NFL considering fine  Drunk on early success, the Brewers are now passed out on the couch and getting sharpied  Browns wide receiver Josh Gordon to sell cars while he's suspended this season. Because if there's one thing Josh Gordon knows, it's dealers  

Geek:  Japan's Hayabusua 2 mission to Asteroid 1999 JU3 is being readied for launch. It is a sample return mission with bonus lander, three "rovers", five markers and just to keep Adam Savage happy: an impactor with high explosives  Japanese bipedal robot can run and backflip like a human, will be used by parents to show their kids what children used to do before video games were invented  Extreme drought in New Mexico kills a 650-year-old tree. In other news, there was a tree in New Mexico  

Entertainment:  Carrie Fisher is pregnant  Joan Rivers' face dies at age 25  Welcome to Lake Flowbegone  

Politics:  MSNBC, massive supporters of Obama, warns that the Benghazi Scandal is about to return and bite his nethers. MSNBC vows to avoid reporting on it  Former Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell to move into another taxpayer funded residence  Former governor running for US Senate denies he auctioned green cards to the highest bidder, insists they were a flat rate $500,000 each  

Business:  Deutschland bans Uber alles over the country  Swiss cheese manufacturers work together to stop counterfeit cheese, since it's something they could never Provolone  US opens first commercial plant that converts corn waste to fuel. Well, the second if you include the Jack Daniels distillery
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2014-09-08 05:41:57 PM
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