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Japan ready to kick off the next Resident Evil, the grand opening of Burger Prime Minister, and a hack at JPMorgan Chase not named Jamie Dimon: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 8/24 - 8/30
Posted by Unfreakable at 2014-09-01 1:55:45 PM (1 comment) | Permalink
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1444 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Sep 2014 at 2:10 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Busy day, but some great headlines last week. You may now go back to grilling in your backyard.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2014-08-24 to Sat 2014-08-30:  Narcissism: is it a mental disorder or a unique personality trait? Smart money is on mental disorder, since it starts with "me"  Japan is ready to provide experimental T-705 Ebola drug, setting the stage for the next installment of Resident Evil  Two men arrested for arguing with their pants down. Thankfully cops stepped in before it turned into a real pissing match  Burger King threatens to move to Canada, where it would be known as Burger Prime Minister  I don't know why these kids are complaining about student loans. After all, their social security checks will cover it  The WHO shut down Sierra Leone lab, voicing concerns about the epidemic creating a local teenage wasteland. A spokesman states that group members are going through traumatic times while on the eminence front  Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they kill your camera crew?  Robber jumps from hotel window while fleeing from police, winds up on USC injury report  UK formally raises the terror alert level from "ere' wot's all this then?" to "oh bloody hell"  Police force's longest serving dog set to retire. With pic of dog that, frankly, does not look very long  Dog turns on stove, sets laptop on fire -- according to cat  

Sports:  The Philadelphia 76ers got, and are expected to drop, Thabeet  Cyclists hospitalized after confusing laundry detergent for sports drink. Doctors confirm all urine tests came back clean  Jon Bon Jovi kicked out of the group, no word if he'll be replaced by Sammy Hagar  

Geek:  Google finally releases 64-bit version of their browser. When asked why it took so long they said that obviously Chrome wasn't built in a day  ♫ Axisymmetric ventilated supercavitations, makes your sub go super fast but watch out for cetaceans ♫  A race of ancient Arctic dwellers? Archeologists are looking Inuit  

Entertainment:  ZZ Top member Dusty Hill injured after slipping in tour bus. No word if he had just left Chicago  Joan Rivers rushed to hospital in critic condition  Doctors to Joan Rivers's family: "Can we talk?"  

Politics:  Okay, you caught us. We did back up all of Lois Lerner's emails. But we don't know how to search for "Lois Lerner" on the system so I guess that means you are still out of luck. Sorry. It's technology, man  Which candidate stomped a mudhole in his opponents to win the GOP primary for Arizona governor? Doug Ducey, the former CEO of COLD STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE  Mitch McConnell's campaign manager resigns to spend more time with his lawyer  

Business:  Great news for Americans: Burger King is in talks to acquire full ownership of Tim Hortons. Bad news for Canadians: Burger King is in talks to acquire full ownership of Tim Hortons  Google to Twitch: We really want to buy you, but we're concerned about a few thi-- Amazon: MINE  FBI investigating hack at JPMorgan Chase. No word yet as to whether this involves account data or Jamie Dimon
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1 Comment     (+0 »)
2014-09-02 02:34:59 PM  
Pretty funny week.
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