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PetSmart up for adoption, the impressive sexual stamina of Neanderthals, and the dinosaur victim of a shooting crime: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 8/17 - 8/23
Posted by Unfreakable at 2014-08-27 7:18:05 AM (3 comments) | Permalink
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1774 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Aug 2014 at 7:23 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Enjoy the headlines, everybody.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2014-08-17 to Sat 2014-08-23:  Pope Francis I to visit Philadelphia in September. City officials suggest October since it won't conflict with any Phillies games once the MLB playoffs start  Grown man gets helplessly stuck in a baby's high chair. Friends rush to help with mashed peas and carrots, a spoon for the airplane to land  Here's what Ferguson could learn from Cincinnati...and the Cardinals already know not to have J.J. Hoover in their bullpen, so it's not that  ♪ Grandma thought her grandson was a burglar... Shot him with a gun kept by her side... We don't know if she'll face any jail time... But damn she's really lucky no one died... ♪  High school student suspended and arrested after he writes a story about killing a dinosaur with a gun. Police search fails to turn up a weapon or the dinosaur in question  Humans and Neanderthals may have had sex for millennia. And you were impressed when you made it to four minutes  Scientists have discovered the earliest form of French people. I bet they were surrender monkeys  Suspicious substance causes shutdown of Fort Lauderdale Airport, reported to be the last ounce of passenger dignity  Newark, New Jersey chosen as the unfriendliest city in the U.S. Local residents immediately ask: "What are you looking at?"  Grandmother tackles man fleeing from police, is immediately offered tryout for Seahawks defense  Scientists, sons of biatches confirm that "hair of the dog" is absolutely the best hangover cure  

Sports:  Bike ǝʞᴉq bike ǝʞᴉq bike ǝʞᴉq bike  Johnny Bench  Peewee football team to play during Jets-Giants game, favored by 5  

Geek:  Scientists absolutely certain the Earth is either warming or cooling  Europe's first two GPS satellites have taken a wrong turn, need to recalculate their routes  Oldest metal object ever found in Middle East unearthed, immediately thrown at Israeli tanks  

Entertainment:  Many movies are based on true stories. Like Schindler's List, Erin Brockovich, The Blob, InvinciWAIT WHAT?  Cindy Crawford pulls her kids out of Malibu school due to classroom toxins, as opposed to Los Angeles schools that have dangerously high levels of lead flying through the air  Paul Reubens will portray a villain in the second season of The Blacklist. Don't f*ck with his bicycle  

Politics:  "Meeting with Kashmiri separatists is a long standing practice" Especially when they can play a damn good version of "Stairway to Reincarnation"  George W Bush has bucket of ice water dumped over his head. Swears he'll tell us anything we want to know  British youth being "lured" by psychotic cult that ends only in death. For once, this is not about the English national football side  

Business:  Gold falls below $1,300. Is it time to invest in silver? Traders still say either ore  PetSmart considers putting itself up for adoption  LinkedIn product chief departs, becomes the first person to actually get a new job using LinkedIn
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3 Comments     (+0 »)
2014-08-27 08:08:28 AM  
PetSmart up for adoption, the impressive sexual stamina of Neanderthals, and the dinosaur victim of a shooting crime

Dinosaur tits! Big old flapping DINOSAUR TITS at a Neanderthals PetSmart!
2014-08-27 08:18:34 AM  
These threads seem to be really popular

/maybe adding a voting type poll and dime fancy graphs might help
2014-08-27 04:00:18 PM  
Drew's anti-misogyny rules went up less than 1 hour after the Five Guys video premiered on Youtube.

Has Drew admitted yet that he's in Zoe Q's phonebook, and does whatever she tells him to, or else?
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