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A rousing game of duct duct goose, mother gets her baby back baby back baby back, and Romney needs a full OS upgrade: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 8/10 - 8/16
Posted by Unfreakable at 2014-08-18 10:49:04 AM (4 comments) | Permalink
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1591 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Aug 2014 at 10:51 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Putting it out a little earlier than usual this week. Enjoy the headlines

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2014-08-10 to Sat 2014-08-16:  Israelis and Palestinians agree to 72-hour ceasefire that will last until the end of this headline. Maybe  BOOM Headshop  Arson at UK straw farm leaves 3 pigs worried, 1 wolf intrigued  Two people stuck on scaffolding 21 stories above Manhattan, being charged $3,500 rent  Scientists say two-headed dolphin carcass found on beach must have served a dual porpoise  Grandmother's game of duct, duct, goose gets out of hand  American Tourister found dead  Determined not to only shoot black men, Ferguson police shot a white female pastor with a rubber bullet while she was praying, are now reportedly looking for an elderly atheist hispanic in a wheelchair to shoot so no one feels left out  Meet "184," the first test-tube baby penguin. It is unknown on if he will join a physically-deformed villain plotting world domination  Filmmaker documenting good things about Detroit has his car broken into and all of his film equipment stolen. Admittedly it would have been a short film anyway  FDA rejects queer eye for straight guy  

Sports:  L.A. Clippy  Anthony Davis says Beyonce is his "future wife," and that the Pelicans are playoff bound. We'll let you decide which lofty goal is more likely to be reached  Notre Dame destroys any chance it ever had of joining the SEC  

Geek:  CDC putting all missionaries returning from Africa into strict three-week quarantine in North Carolina where they can be monitored and medicated at all times. Asked if this was preventing spread of ebola, CDC officials say, "That, too"  Boy who was born without ears has a pair created from his ribs. Delighted mother says, "I've finally got my baby back"  On October 19, seven spacecraft will accidentally run into Comet Siding Spring while feverishly snapping photos. No word if the comet is related to Sean Penn  

Entertainment:  Robin Williams Poets Society  Courtney Love says she blew $27M of Nirvana's money, Billy Corgan, Trent Reznor, Russell Brand, Gavin Rossdale, Ted Nugent, and Scott Weiland  Paul Giamatti to star in "Straight Outta Compton" biopic as the manager of ENNNNNNNN Double-U A  

Politics:  Mitt Romney's closest advisors are working hard to squelch any talk of him running in 2016, saying his OS and hardware are so antiquated that it would be cheaper to scrap him and start over than to install the necessary upgrades  Fox News poll shows that Americans see President Obama as a rampaging Imperial tyrant, subjugating America with his iron fist. Except when they see him as a bumbling and incompetent fool, imperiling the nation with his sniveling indecisiveness  Rick Perry indicted on one count of abuse of official capacity, coercion of a public servant, and ...oops. I forgot the third  

Business:  Volkswagen recalls 189,000 SUVs that are Fahrfrumrunning  Cisco reroutes 6000 workers  600 farm machinery workers get a Deere John letter
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4 Comments     (+0 »)
2014-08-18 11:16:54 AM  
Nice fail trio in Business
2014-08-18 12:38:57 PM  
Sometimes I like when you pull it out early.
2014-08-18 01:39:53 PM  
I gotta step up my game. My greens last week were a bit on the weak side ...
2014-08-18 05:15:24 PM  
a "grousing" game of duct duct goose?
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