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Astronomers discover that we're in the Hot Sister galaxy, Marion Barry cracks up his car, and the joy of homophones: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 7/27 - 8/2
Posted by Unfreakable at 2014-08-05 12:50:38 PM (0 comments) | Permalink
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63 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Aug 2014 at 12:57 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

A good selection, as usual. Well done, submitters.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2014-07-27 to Sat 2014-08-02:  Juggalos are breeding like magnets  Dozens hospitalized after exposure to Country music  Birds sunbathe to spread vital oils across their bodies and to help to drive out any parasites that may be feeding on their plumage. Just like the cast of Jersey Shore  Man who lost his hand to fireworks says he will stay upbeat and keep grabbing life by the throat, though not with both hands as before  Liberia closes airports. Disease arrives in Nigeria. Sierra Leone closes airports. Liberia bans public gatherings. Guinea begins handing out face masks. You have 18 DNA points  Naked man arrested for masturbating outside an apartment complex. Residents glad the police finally hauled this jerk off  Teacher fired from Utah language school because "homophone" promotes a gay agenda and aren't aloud to be taut  Woman finds IKEA bags stuffed with 80 human skeletons. No word on if she was able to assemble them without having to call the support line  Geraldo Rivera arrested for fatal hit & run in Tampa. Charges for reckless reporting still pending  Confirmed case of Ebola in Atlanta  Marion Barry involved in wrong-way crash in DC. Ditch set him up  

Sports:  Cleveland Browns fan who urinated on Art Modell's grave is identified after police view the streaming video  Stephen A. Smith provokes ESPN into banning him  Chris Bosh is "revitalized" by LeBron leaving, having two extra months of off season vacation time next year  

Geek:  New study indicates that our sister galaxy, Andromeda, is actually twice as massive as the Milky Way, making our galaxy the hot sister  Archaeologists find four human pelvic bones attached to a stick, plan to name it "Keira Knightly"  Johnson & Johnson pulls device that causes cancer & cancer  

Entertainment:  William Shatner had to attend comic con in a wheelchair after a horse riding accident. Using a blinking light to answer all questions, however, was a personal choice  /* Maddie & Tae behavior */ class MaddieAndTae extends Women { private static $_object; static function getObject() { if (is_null(self::$_object)) { self::$_object = new self(); } return self::$_object; }} MaddieAndTae ::getObject() -›pushOutButts();  Yes, it's true. These Ghostbusters will have no dicks  

Politics:  Michelle Obama: "Democrats should be hungry for the mid-terms" STOP TELLING ME WHAT I SHOULD EAT  "I'm not a scientist either, but I can use my brain, and I can talk to one." Crist: What an asshole  Obama shouldn't have lied to the nation about his health care plan - so says bug-eyed Leviticus-wallowing spittle-flecked snake-handling inbred right-wing Wall-Street-fellating Gaia-despoiling precambrian bigoted uberhatemonger Barney Frank  

Business:  Herbalife reports lower supplemental earnings  Tesla stock no longer on fire  Vitaminwater switches back to its old formula after complaints that it didn't contain enough of America's favorite vitamin, high fructose corn syrup
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