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Aphrodisiac apples, all four Jesuses recaptured, and Brazilians waxed: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 7/6 - 7/12
Posted by Unfreakable at 2014-07-15 1:17:17 PM (5 comments) | Permalink
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1449 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Jul 2014 at 1:34 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Cider headline ran away with it this week. Kudos, subby

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2014-07-06 to Sat 2014-07-12:  Explosive news: Roughly 9/11 emails intercepted by NSA were plain communications, which blows up the idea that...hang on, someone's at my door  Layies n gnmen bfr leavin sbwy cr hv a lk arnd n mk sre yu hv yr bgs, glases, phn's n bbies. This is the Bronx bound #1  British police arrest entire ward of mental hospital. Those taken into custody include three Napoleons, two Queen Victorias and all four Jesuses  Man who killed his whole family at 14 has trouble finding love due to women learning he killed his whole family at 14  Diaper thief's crime described as "like a Woody Allen film." So, shiatty and once you've seen one you've seen them all, basically  Harrier jump jet auction starts July 26. Starting bid is 7,000,000 Pepsi Points  New research shows that apples can boost a woman's sex drive, help men gettin' cider  Police abandon plans to photograph teen's medically induced erection in Virginia sexting case, admit they pulled a boner  Taliban: So, ISIS, we need to talk about this whole "Caliphate" thing. I mean sure we're down with placing the whole world under the rule of the Holy Prophet's word and all, it's just...well.. we really didn't see YOU guys being in charge  Tourist leaves a few tips for Disney employees after getting on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride  Amelia Earhart finishes flight around the world. Well, better late than never, I suppose  

Sports:  Brazilians waxed  LeBron says he will be returning to Cleveland. On purpose  Best Korean advances to World Cup final. Most Glorious Exalted Leader Kim Jong-un has already scored 32 goals in the first 2 minutes over the capitalist dogs  

Geek:  Isolated Amazon tribe makes contact with scientists, but say they require a payment of $99 per year if the scientists want prime access  Researchers find gorillas use their BO as a form of communication with others - much the same way IT workers do  How deep does the multiverse go? Finally, I've learned the difference between what's accepted, what's speculative, and what's just math-sturbation  

Entertainment:  Kanye West compares having his picture taken to rape. Well, both involve a dick  Court rules that FBI can continue to refer to Juggalos as a gang, because "music fans" is clearly not the right term  Ramones original lineup reunites  

Politics:  Cleveland chosen to host Republican National Convention in 2016. And when they fail to win the White House that year, they'll host a prime-time television show to announce that they're taking their convention to Miami  Sarah Palin calls for President Obama's impeachment, citing his dereliction of duty. Irony tag starts to explode, quits halfway through  Ray Nagin, former Mayor of New Orleans, enters the Louisiana Political Hall of Fame: Federal prison  

Business:  Alcoa foils negative expectations  J.Crew introduces size XXXS which fits someone with a 23 inch waist. Or as most Americans call a 23 inch garment, a sock  Soft drink maker fined .000002% of sales for advertising its product cures cancer, diabetes. They're really sorry but pretty sure you'll like their "Makes you invisible and immune to sharks" campaign
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5 Comments     (+0 »)
2014-07-15 01:46:02 PM  
2014-07-15 01:49:55 PM  
Huzzah!  My Ray Nagin/NOLA headline makes the weekly roundup!  :D
2014-07-15 02:03:07 PM  
Apparently I had a very funny week.
2014-07-16 07:16:13 AM  
awww, no "Germans get off by Gotze. Ewwww" headline? *sad panda*
2014-07-16 06:48:41 PM  

somedude210: awww, no "Germans get off by Gotze. Ewwww" headline? *sad panda*

That one got greened under "We have to have something and no one submitted anything better." The "Pope Classic superior to New Pope" was way better but came in after this one was greened.
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