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Subaru GMs 660,000 cars, why the Triceratops needed Cialis, and porcupine wheelchairs: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 6/29 - 7/5
Posted by Unfreakable at 2014-07-07 6:13:46 PM (3 comments) | Permalink
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2352 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Jul 2014 at 6:41 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Happy Monday, everybody!

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2014-06-29 to Sat 2014-07-05:  Man in Middle East crucified but found alive days later. No, not that guy  It took Triceratops a million years to get its horn. Don't wait that long; ask your doctor about Cialis  Finally, you can put that lipstick away, they have bred a cat that can't jump up on your kitchen counters  Oh, bother  KY ruled legal for use in KY  I don't know why people are freaking out. I mean, it's not like he'll hit anything  Three-year-old girl says she saw Jesus after nearly drowning in pool. Jesus too busy appearing on toast to comment  Police searching for suspects who siphoned gas from a gas station. Perhaps they should start looking in 1982  Zoo builds paraplegic porcupine a wheelchair out of PVC pipe and duct tape. Cheap pricks  Motivational speaker's $5 million Connecticut mansion burns to the ground. He will now have to live in a van down by the river  Arizona State University offers female students extra credit for not shaving their armpits for a semester. Presumably for French class  

Sports:  After months of investigations, it only took one small tip in the end to arrest Jerry Sandusky  Former Missouri wide receiver Dorial Green-Beckham enrolling at OU for 2015 season and is expected to major in martial arts and hydroponic agriculture  Germany eliminates France. This is not a repeat from 1940, 1915, 1870, get the drift  

Geek:  Archeologists find a pair of 4,000-year-old chariots in Georgia, conclude NASCAR older than thought  Happy 10th anniversary, Cassini. You don't look a sol over a third of a Cronian year old  IBM supercomputer proves you don't need taste buds, a mouth, or a soul to create a barbeque sauce recipe, something Kraft has known for decades  

Entertainment:  Laura Palmer's house is for sale. You may be able to get it on the cheap, because word has it that Bob is a motivated seller  Dave Coulier marries photographer Melissa Bring, who reportedly speaks eloquently and will have his baby  Styx and Foreigner tour buses catch fire. No injuries to band members due to recently installed ramps, chair lifts  

Politics:  Monica Lewinsky says "I was a virgin to humiliation." Well, technically  "Obama mocks Congress on the roads" which is only slightly different from when he mocks them at home, at Camp David, in Hawaii or in the Oval Office  According to Karl Rove, the Founders never imagined a president like Obama. Then again, they were used to letting the Vorta handle the messier aspects of governing  

Business:  If you really need to call someone, 1-800-COLLECT is still in business. On second thought, it is probably cheaper to just buy an airline ticket to their house  Southwest Airlines begins international flights to Aruba, Jamaica, Bahamas, according to spokespersons Brian Wilson and Mike Love  Subaru GMs 660,000 cars
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3 Comments     (+0 »)
2014-07-07 07:19:12 PM  
I like the cheap pricks one.
2014-07-07 07:29:42 PM  
holy crap! i actually got one this week! who's awesome? I am!
2014-07-07 08:45:08 PM  
Oh, look. Another week I don't have one of my headlines picked. THIS IS RIGGED, I TELLS YA!


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