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Oldman yells at cloud, Chewy Luis in the news, and the Vatican realizes that people have their own definition of "coming to Jesus": some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 6/22 - 6/28
Posted by Unfreakable at 2014-06-30 2:35:32 PM (2 comments) | Permalink
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1491 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Jun 2014 at 2:46 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

This was a really difficult week to pick. A lot of great headlines didn't quite make the cut, but at least these headlines made it through. This was one of the weeks where a few context headlines bumped others from the top.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2014-06-22 to Sat 2014-06-28:  Unruly fracas takes 12 police to arrest 6 drunks at a bar that serves until 4 a.m. It's been a problem for 2 decades, 1 block up from subby's apt. where I'm 1/2 inclined to go a quarter of the time if I don't stay home with an eighth or a fifth  One injured after porta-potty explodes. Bystanders say it looked like some scary shiat  Pee-Wee Herman sketch stolen from ice cream shop. Police assume it was probably just jerked off the wall  What's black and white and red all over?  EPA takes steps to address illegal dumping  If you are in the San Francisco bay area, grab a crowbar  Man arrested for masturbating twice on the same bus, says he's really just a modern day Rosa Parks and wants to overcome  The Vatican realizes that people like sex, or their "coming to Jesus" moment  Hospitals soon to be hit by the most expensive drug shortage in history, as suppliers are unable to keep up with the demand for... saline? Really, nobody has a solution?  Women being shown their vaginas for the first time find themselves moved. Men also know the feeling of it moving when seeing a woman's vagina for the first time  Researchers using modern-day dating techniques conclude Henry VIII was pretty much incompatible with all women - in large part because he had a nasty habit of cutting them off  

Sports:  Solo gets out of jail in less than 12 parsecs  Chewy Luis in the news  Giants' Tim Lincecum smokes Padres hitters, rolls up 27 outs without allowing the Padres even one hit  

Geek:  Spacewalkers install new antenna outside International Space Station. Apparently due to budget cuts NASA had to drop cable  "Time travel may now be possible" says scientist before stepping into a DeLorean and going back in time to kill his own grandparents and... what were we talking about again?  Michigan man has vision restored with a 'bionic eye,' immediately puts his home up for sale after realizing that he was still living in Michigan  

Entertainment:  FAP FAP FAP... Penny. FAP FAP FAP... Penny. FAP FAP FAP... Penny  Oldman yells at cloud  Against all odds, Phil Collins has decided to donate his collection of Texas Revolution artifacts to the Alamo so you can take a look at them now  

Politics:  And Look at that King, Cheney's got Obama down,wailing on him with that folding chair, bah gawd King I don't think Obama can take much more of that, and hang on, who's that running into the ring to save Obama? Wait, is that Rand Paul's music?  Well scissor me Hoosiers  Mississippi Tea Party leader charged with conspiring to photograph Sen. Thad Cochran's wife in her nursing home simultaneously exercises Second and Fifth Amendment rights  

Business:  Happy 40th birthday to the Universal Product Code. You don't look a day over 0 0204 9273 4  New giant iPhone doesn't fit in most pants. But then neither do most Americans  Not 2b
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2 Comments     (+0 »)
2014-06-30 03:31:22 PM  
Chewy Luis FTW.
2014-06-30 09:27:59 PM  
Indeed, Chewy Luis, absolutely inspired.
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