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Packers can finally get married, one screwed driver, and no one expects the Spanish Abdication: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 6/1 - 6/7
Posted by Unfreakable at 2014-06-09 6:34:25 PM (6 comments) | Permalink
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1511 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Jun 2014 at 6:39 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

New week is back, y'all. Enjoy

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2014-06-01 to Sat 2014-06-07:  No one expects the Spanish Abdication  Man fires 41 shots into the fireplace of his living room. At least, that's what the log says  Police slobbered with kisses after rescuing woman's dog from under the car. The dog was happy, too  Pavlof Volcano. Now why does that name ring a bell?  Homosexual men share Gay Gene. Well, I hope they at least use protection  Possible American at large in Canada  Man shoots dog for copulating with his purebred, is informed by police that he just screwed the pooch  East SF Bay Area city dealing with wilding attacks. Jon Snow questioned, knows nothing  ♫ Who can chase the burglar? Hold him down for you. Keep him for the cops and take his knife away, too. The garbage man, the garbage man can ♪  Packers can finally get married  300 gallons of orange juice leaks into swamp after truck accident. Yeah, that's one screwed driver  

Sports:  A fan is in the hospital after falling from a TGI Fridays, into a bullpen, at Miller Park in Milwaukee during a Brewers/Twins game. Which is just a little more painful then actually watching a Brewers/Twins game  Yankees introduce series of team-branded whines. Wines. Sorry, force of habit  Jim Irsay's driver's license suspended after his DUI, but will get to keep the team. Apparently there's a difference between slurring your speech and speaking in slurs  

Geek:  Scientists make breakthrough in development of cell replacement therapies, although some think it brings us a step closer to human cloning. Research team of Krieger, Krieger, Krieger and Krieger say it's not a concern  "Scientists believe that if there is life in the Solar System, they will find it in the next 25 years." But to find it, we'll have to ignore the monolith's directive regarding Europa  New study finds gamers no longer fit long-established stereotype of potato chip-munching loners who spend their summers wearing sweatpants and sitting in front of the TV in their parents' basement. For instance, many of them now wear cargo shorts  

Entertainment:  "Gravity" movie trailer wins top prize. Producers get called onstage to receive an Osc  Rob Liefeld says that the sequel to X-Men: Days of Future Past may have stalled the upcoming X-Force movie. In other news, Hollywood pouch makers are wondering to do with their massive inventory surplus  Regis Philbin takes a ride with some guys in a unmarked white van, reportedly after they offered him a puppy and some free Geritol Gummies  

Politics:  Canadian wins GOP straw poll nomination to run for President of the United States  Sarah Palin weighs in on OMG WHO THE HELL CARES  Ret. Gen. McCrystal: Hey, dumbasses, don't judge Bergdahl yet. Most of you don't know what it's like to be in a foreign land with people who want to kill you...except maybe you freshmen Congressmen  

Business:  Amway CEO arrested for running a pyramid scheme. Apparently it's slightly different from the normal Amway business plan  Home Depot begins selling consumer products like toilet paper. Look for it in the do-it-yourself aisle  The ten worst majors to choose in college, brought to you by the guy with the paper hat and a degree in Russian Literature
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6 Comments     (+0 »)
2014-06-09 07:42:06 PM  
What is the first rule about Fark's headline of the week thread?
2014-06-09 07:59:32 PM  
It was a good week for headlines. Good luck to all the subbies.
2014-06-09 08:25:25 PM  
Hey! I got a headline in the best of the week!

2014-06-09 08:43:05 PM  
Damn. The drought continues ...
2014-06-09 09:34:25 PM  
the abdication one is the clear winner
2014-06-10 07:55:01 AM  

vudukungfu: What is the first rule about Fark's headline of the week thread?

That headline was from last week, and even though it didn't quite get enough votes for a HotW nod, it'll be in the running as a context candidate for HotY
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