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Boehner not enough of a deterrent to tanning bed use, Carney folds up his tent, and fruit acquires vegetable: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 5/25 - 5/31
Posted by Unfreakable at 2014-06-02 1:46:26 PM (4 comments) | Permalink
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1543 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Jun 2014 at 2:23 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Happy summer, everybody. Here are some good headlines from last week that you might have missed. Enjoy

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2014-05-25 to Sat 2014-05-31:

img.fark.net  Man dies after coffee machine fell on top of him. Friends described him as always being good 'til the last drop  

img.fark.net  Pope says priest "celibacy door open to change." Probably meaning the front door, as the back-door has always gotten a lot of use  

img.fark.net  Russian fisherman snags 4,000-year-old Bronze Age statue in his net, exciting archeologists who say bronze used to be the most important metal in the world, unlike today where its only use is to make medals for Canadian athletes in Olympics  

img.fark.net  Man goes out on limb, robs bank branch with stick, leaves  

img.fark.net  ♬ 223 Nigerian girls in the camp. 223 Nigerian girls. ♬ Four see a break, make their escape. ♬ 219 Nigerian girls in the camp. ♬  

img.fark.net  Fruit acquires vegetable  

img.fark.net  Smoking e-cigarettes is good for you. We tested it. Once. On a monkey. He was called Biggles. He died. But not because of the e-cigarettes. Actually it was from syphilis. NO MORE QUESTIONS  

img.fark.net  Cat owners tend to be more intelligent than dog owners, according to report that had to be read out loud to ferret owners  

img.fark.net  Shinsacki  

img.fark.net  Carney folds up tent, leaves town  

img.fark.net  Bowe knows freedom  


Sports:

img.fark.net  JBL markets Bluetooth speaker with built-in carabiner, geared towards climbers. Tom Petty's "Free Fallin" mp3 included at no extra charge  

img.fark.net  LA Clippers are now Windows compatible  

img.fark.net  Mark Sanchez thinks that Philadelphia was the best place for him to sign. Presumably because he hasn't tried wearing a Santa outfit yet  


Geek:

img.fark.net  Congratulations, Amanda, you're the first hurricane to wander aimlessly off the coast of Mexico this year, though certainly not the last Amanda to blindly bob up and down near Mazatlan this season  

img.fark.net  Computer science professor does a study of what other computer science professors are studying, get stuck in an endless loop  

img.fark.net  Scientists have finally defined premature ejaculation. Critics say study could have gone longer if it had really wanted to  


Entertainment:

img.fark.net  All My Children villain dead at 69. OR IS HE?  

img.fark.net  Patrick Swayze's widow remarries, presumably to a man she met at a ceramics class  

img.fark.net  George Michael rushed to the hospital after falling at home. Doctors claim it's too early to tell if he's ever going to dance again  


Politics:

img.fark.net  LGBT group demands apology for Utah Governor's "hate speech". This never would've happened with Randolph Scott ( ♫Raaaaaandoooolph Scooooott♫ )  

img.fark.net  Illinois demonstrates its superior compassion in health care by spending $12 million on care for dead people, and will deal with this by trading the corpses to New York for several thousand Democratic voters to be named later  

img.fark.net  Republicans slowly embracing marijuana, which is good because if they go too fast they'll just cough and waste it  


Business:

img.fark.net  CEO of Nabors receives record $68 million pay package. G-o-l-l-y, Sur-prise, sur-prise, sur-prise  

img.fark.net  Amazon encourages readers of Hachette books to purchase them from one of their competitors. The online retail giant then added, "Good luck finding one. Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha (inhale) hahahahahahahahahahaha"  

img.fark.net  FDA to post warnings labels on tanning beds. Apparently a picture of John Boehner was not enough of a deterrent
· · ·

4 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2014-06-02 04:01:53 PM  
img.fark.net LA Clippers are now Windows compatible

HOLY S**T! THAT'S ONE'S MINE! XD

i1182.photobucket.comView Full Size
 
2014-06-02 06:38:54 PM  
I like the ferret one and the soap star one.
 
2014-06-02 07:03:09 PM  
Congrats Capt. Roid!
 
2014-06-03 10:30:15 AM  
Some of these are more hackneyed than Nancy Kerrigan.  Just sayin'
 
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