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Pontius Pilate's offline version of Pinterest, man comes into money, and Obama's military response to Bush v. Gore: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 5/18 - 5/24
Posted by Unfreakable at 2014-05-26 10:08:43 AM (2 comments) | Permalink

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1669 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 May 2014 at 12:23 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

I like putting these together every week because it's fun to go back through and see all the great headlines. Some weeks are stronger than others, though, and this was an exceptionally strong week for the main page headlines. It was really difficult to winnow this week's batch down to just 11 good headlines, I see several that could easily make it to the Headline of the Year contest. Well done all around, Farkers.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2014-05-18 to Sat 2014-05-24:  Christians start religious Pinterest site, 1981 years after Pontius Pilate's offline version  Tennessee man arrested for attempting to have sex with ATM. Apparently he fantasized about coming into money  Human albino gene found in dogs. Well, he always did like to spend time in his lab  Possibly a little too soon, the Malaysian Airline disaster has been turned into a movie. In fairness it has dropped off everyone's radar  Man found drug dealers in neighborhood too much to Handel, so he finally baroque down and began blasting classical music from his balcony to drive them away. He hopes they're Haydn it so much they won't come Bach  University of Chicago neurologist arrested for public indecency. The nerve  Obama finally offers military response to Bush v. Gore: US troops deployed to Chad  Thai fighters take over the government. Death Star construction still behind schedule  French mayor loses his oui oui  Kale is one of the most popular boys names in California, although some parents still name the little rascal Alfalfa  Violin offender arrested for missing G string  

Sports:  Cavaliers defy 1.7% odds to get the 1st pick in the NBA draft again. Mock drafts already have them drafting Johnny Manziel  NFL likely to add two more teams to the playoffs for 2015, award participation ribbons to the three teams that don't make the playoffs  Yu Darvish throws a 55 mph eephus curveball to Torii Hunter, who can't believe his ii's  

Geek:  Researchers study mice to see how they run  U.N. official says that junk food is just as bad as cigarettes. And twice as hard to keep lit  Don Levine, one of the creators of the action figure, dies at age 86. No service is planned as he will be sealed in plastic, AFA graded, and placed on a shelf  

Entertainment:  Hugh Jackman reveals he had to wear a cocksock during the filming of his nude scenes for the latest X-Men movie, because his penis kept popping out and going 'SNIKT' at the most inopportune times  George Clooney asks Matt Damon to be his best man. Somewhere, Brad Pitt is screaming into a pillow  Headlines that lie: "Elle Fanning says what we're all thinking about Angelina Jolie." False: There's nothing in her comments about baby oil, satin sheets, knives or a leopard  

Politics:  And so it Benghazis  Obama to explain necessity of drone strikes on U.S. citizens: "Hey, we had to put Kerry to good use somehow"  Cleveland still in the running for the GOP convention, because when you think "Great history of winning" you think "Cleveland"  

Business:  AT&T looks to buy DirecTV for $48 billion, streamlining operations so your calls and TV signal will drop simultaneously  New business airline wants to land travellers on water, even though Malaysian Airlines appears to have that market locked up  HP tells 16,000 workers to cache out
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2 Comments     (+0 »)
2014-05-26 12:53:58 PM  
Which is amazing because Cleveland will be almost 180 when inaugurated if he wins.
/non-consecutive FTW
2014-05-26 04:34:10 PM  
The X-tian Pinterest headline is definitely HOTY material.
The ATM headline is also good.
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