by Unfreakable

Welcome to Fark's Headline of the Year contest for 2008. We began putting this together a few years ago to give special recognition to the funny submitters that have given us all so many laughs over the course of the year, and also as a way to recap some of our favorites. Although there are a lot of funny headlines here, there are a lot more that were great but ultimately didn't get enough votes to make this contest. We listed those quarterfinals threads after the winning threads below if you want to check them out. Below are the results of the Headline of the Year contest based on your votes.

The Top Twenty Headlines of 2008:

20: PETA activist changes her name from Rachel Feather to Rachel FishingHurts. One letter off from a new career in porn

19: A Cambridgeshire church has lost its "Spitting Vicar". The English language, however, has gained another euphemism for "Penis"

18: Explosion at winery leaves workers weak bodied with a rich red hue, containing discernible hints of charred debris and strong character best described as dead

17: Last German WWI veteran dies at age 107. WE WIN

16: Woman who had phone sex with a man claims he raped her... over the phone. Man says that is impossible, he doesn't even work for Verizon

15: Teacher found guilty of cramming 13 people at once into his Volvo. Paris Hilton congratulates him on breaking her record before realizing she misunderstood the statement

14: 2 charged in stabbing of 3. In related news, 6 in hiding over fears that 7 8 9

13: Gerbil causes 3-car accident; article doesn't say which gere he was in at the time

12: Father of two crushed to death after falling into printing press. This story is continued on Pages 3, 4, 9 and 10

11: MILFish math teacher learns that 17 does not go into 35 without a serious remainder

10: Now that certain words -- like the other word for donkey -- must be filtered on the Internet: President Abraham Lincoln was buttbuttinated by an armed buttailant after a life devoted to the reform of the U.S. consbreastution

9: Disagreements shake Djibouti. Shake, shake, shake. Shake, shake, shake. Shake Djibouti

8: Oral sex study finds that people only read the first two words of web headlines

7: Two swimmers dead, Juan Moore missing

6: Smoking named 'the most offensive thing you can do in someone else's house', narrowly edging out "their wife"

5: Baptist minister calls birth control "murder." Your mom's face now a crime scene

4: One armed girl swims circles around competition

3: You are what your mother eats. So, if you turn out to be a bit of a dick, you know why

2: "Spam King" sentenced to 47 months of having his inbox filled with unsolicited male

And the #1 Headline of 2008 is:

1: Five killed and dozens injured in perfume factory fire. EAU DE HUMANITY


Headline candidates for each quarter:

January - March