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Ear bite victim waives hearing, tampon flasks for smuggling Bloody Marys, and Cthulhu yoga: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 3/9 - 3/15
Posted by Unfreakable at 2014-03-17 7:17:05 PM (2 comments) | Permalink

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1927 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Mar 2014 at 7:22 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Som of our favroites from last week. Lots to enjoy. I may or may not be drunk

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2014-03-09 to Sat 2014-03-15:  Powerful earthquake strikes Eureka. At least that's what the sheriff says it was  Woman arrested for biting off chunk of boyfriend's ear is charged with felony after victim waives hearing  Man brings BB gun to debt argument, demanding payment. Debtor and his shotgun decide to refinance  Megachurch gets robbed of $600k by thief who doesn't understand "professional courtesy"  50 years later, Kitty Genovese's murder still fascinates. Somebody should probably submit a thread about it. Well, there are a ton of Farkers. I'm sure someone will get around to it  Student dies in Khartoum violence. No word if an anvil was used  Grand Rapids, Michigan considers taking public spitting ban off the books. Escorts reportedly thrilled  Prosecutors worry judge may only give five years to infomercial pitchman, but if they ACT NOW, WE'LL GIVE THEM AN ADDITIONAL FIVE YEARS FOR THE SAME PRICE  Chimpanzees can play video games better than kindergarteners, though they do get confused when poor Donkey Kong is portrayed as the villain  Prosecutors say Houston man who shot and killed his 17-year old daughter's boyfriend after finding them in bed together is unlikely to face charges due to the legal precedent of "see, now, this here is Texas"  Urban Outfitters to sell flasks disguised as tampons. They work especially well for smuggling Bloody Marys  

Sports:  WWE Superstar Kane has opened his own insurance company, guarantees fair payouts on Hellfire and Brimstone damage or acts of gawd  Julius Peppers picks the Packers, pending papers  NASCAR driver has substitutes willing to take his place if his wife goes into labor. No word on who he will choose to hold her hand and put up with her insults and screaming  

Geek:  WWF reports that in Nepal in 2012, no rhinos, tigers, or elephants were poached. Chair shots and steel cage matches still on the rise, however  Gamer reaches goal of one million points in Xbox Titanfall, starts working toward next major goal of learning how to unhook a bra  Turns out, there IS a style of yoga based on the worship of ancient demonic gods intent on death and insanity. "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn....hold it...hold breathe"  

Entertainment:  Kim Kardashian signs a big ass pre-nuptial agreement  You are erect, sir  Jim, Beam me up  

Politics:  Federal prosecutors seek records tied to Christie ally. Ted Danson, Shelley Long, George Wendt, and John Ratzenberger also wanted for questioning  Primary challenger calls Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC) "ambiguously gay." In response, Sen. Graham exclaimed, "What's everybody looking at?"  Sarah Palin's tour bus for sale. It may or may not run  

Business:  33 "Poop Cruise" passengers want Carnival to pay each $5000 per month. Lawyers to review the logs  Denver hosts its first ever marijuana job search this week. Officials fear that applicants won't be showing up until next week  Krispy Kreme profit widens in 4th quarter, hindquarter
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2 Comments     (+0 »)
2014-03-17 07:53:33 PM  
Modmin, caught sayof - Som say yes OR It's St. Patty's
2014-03-17 08:40:30 PM  
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