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Hitchcock's even scarier shower scene, a long overdue conversation about cooties, and the most dangerous race in the world since the Mongols: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 1/5 - 1/11
Posted by Unfreakable at 2014-01-13 6:35:46 PM (5 comments) | Permalink

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3066 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Jan 2014 at 6:58 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Submitters are already picking it up in 2014. Well done.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2014-01-05 to Sat 2014-01-11:  One dead in Hell's Kitchen fire. SHUT IT DOWN YOU FARKING DONKEYS  Chicago man seeks shelter from cold for wife and himself, "I can't risk waking up with my wife frozen next to me." That's how most men fall asleep, dude  Unreleased Hitchcock movie has an even scarier shower scene  Pope Francis eliminates "monsignor" honorific for priests, says that they should not have any titles, especially "prime suspect"  Toddler from expletive filled video removed from the home. When asked to comment, the boy replied "I do believe this is a travesty. In due time, the truth will come out, and my loving family will be absolved of any wrong doing." (paraphrased)  Genie Lift touches power lines, releasing magic smoke. No word on who wished for a power outage, or how many wishes they have left  Ancient hominid, "Nutcracker Man", had strong jaws, lived on grass and nuts, fought his sworn enemies, the mice  Coast Guard rescues crewman with severed foot. Seems like a life preserver would have worked better  Male college student's request for a "religious accommodation" to not be required to work or interact with female students may finally spark a serious, long-overdue national conversation about "cooties"  Investigators baffled by mysterious disappearance of two men who went missing more than a week ago on fishing trip in Georgia, hold out hope for their Deliverance  Stage hypnotist dies after falling off balcony. He must have been verrrry sleeeepy  

Sports:  Member of English cricket talks down suicidal man from Australian bridge, telling him that England flew 5,000 miles to die in Australia and they have priority  Tim Tebow attempts comeback with workouts 10 hours a day, six days a week. Unfortunately as NFL teams remember, he doesn't do anything physical on Sunday  The 2014 Dakar Rally, the most dangerous race in the world since the Mongols, is about to kick off  

Geek:  John McAfee is happy that his name is being taken off of his antivirus software, acknowledging that it was easier than getting the software off of a computer  Thousands of breast cancer patients carry the "survivor" gene, which is reportedly ribbon-like and mostly likely pink in color  Elephant shark beats out viewers of Duck Dynasty for "least evolved species"  

Entertainment:  Insane Clown Posse sue FBI over Juggalos' gang classification. Clearly, this will not be a class action suit  57-year-old David Copperfield to wed 28-year-old French model after performing the illusion that he's able to saw his age in half  Shia LeBoeuf announces his retirement from public life, using a nice speech originally written by J.D. Salinger  

Politics:  Governor Christie blocks three lanes of traffic. This is not a fat joke  Alan Keyes says Jesus Christ is inspiring his efforts to impeach Obama, presumably the same Jesus who inspired his senatorial bid against Obama in '04. A race Keyes lost in a humiliating blow-out. Apparently the Lord enjoys a good laugh now and again  White House denies Robert Gates's charge that Vice President Biden is often wrong, says they want to set the record straight that Biden is always wrong  

Business:  Nvidia says 'mysterious' crop circle that baffled locals in Chualar, California was a publicity stunt. Too late, aliens have already taken the credit  New U.S Olympic bobsled is designed by BMW. Although if the bobsled team wanted a vehicle that borders on being out of control down icy slopes with no chance of stopping, they should have gone with Chrysler  Surprising: AOL offers to buy Business Insider for $100 million. More surprising: AOL has $100 million
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5 Comments     (+0 »)
2014-01-13 07:08:11 PM  
Not a headline, but the college religious accommodation thread had easily one of the best posts of the week.

i42.tinypic.comView Full Size
2014-01-13 07:17:05 PM  
I was robbed!

/not really
2014-01-13 07:27:59 PM  
The Hitchcock scarier shower scene was incredibly morbid...

/early contender for HOTY
2014-01-13 07:38:15 PM  
Excellent crop this week.
2014-01-13 10:18:23 PM  

fusillade762: Not a headline, but the college religious accommodation thread had easily one of the best posts of the week.

[ image 850x166]

thank you...the headline was mine too, and I almost went with engineering joke instead, but felt it worked better as post
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