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Uighurs pleased, Aaron Rodgers f*cks some Bears, and dolphins learn to puffer, puffer, pass: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 12/29 - 1/4
Posted by Unfreakable at 2014-01-07 2:10:46 PM (11 comments) | Permalink

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1988 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Jan 2014 at 2:12 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Headlines of the Week for last week. Enjoy!

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2013-12-29 to Sat 2014-01-04:  Sunni members of Iraqi Parliament quit after the shiate hits the fan  Super callous manduca sexta protects with halitosis  Billionaire upset with the Pope's comments about capitalism says he may withhold donation, will instead spend the money on an attempt to get a camel through the eye of a needle  Man refuses girlfriend's request to spoon, so she reaches for the knife. Now she's forked  Where's the apartment building fire that's causing residents to perspire? SHAFT... You're damn right  ~~~ \ [ -_-] / ~~~  Woman reveals her addiction to drinking paint. Experts say it might be okay if she was thinner  OJ Simpson has cancer, and wants to die at home, like his victims  Monday: Man crashes U-Haul truck, sets house ablaze, robs another and steals frozen elk meat. Friday: He's found fully clad in hot tub with machete. Interrogators can't wait to hear about rest of week  Seattle woman has three-hour orgasm that lands her in the hospital, her boyfriend in the hall of fame  U.S. icebreaker on its way to assist Australian icebreaker sent to help Chinese icebreaker dispatched to free Russian icebreaker  

Sports:  Aaron Rodgers responds to gay rumors by f*cking some Bears  Shanahanded his walking papers  Regardless of which bowl you watched, OSU blew it to the Tigers with a turnover in the last two minutes  

Geek:  Puffer, puffer, pass  Federal government buys Arizona land that may hold dinosaur fossils. Will now be the second U.S protected dinosaur sanctuary recognized in Arizona, after the home of John McCain  Scientists learn to break down cancer cells defenses. Next step: how to get it to roll over on its buddies before it demands to see a lawyer  

Entertainment:  "Bronx Tale" actor Lillo Brancato paroled after doing eight years for burglary related to a cop-killing; his former fellow inmates remember him fondly as one of their three great ones  NPR presents its top ten metal albums of 2013. To be followed by the Vatican's list of its top ten porn stars  Yo holmes, smell you later  

Politics:  Good news: Republicans declare war on themselves. Bad news: Republican track record at winning wars  Uighurs pleased  "Pro-family" ME senate candidate says his conviction for domestic violence was a result of being "railroaded" by a court system that outrageously allows you to be convicted on nothing more than the sworn testimony of an eyewitness  

Business:  Ford ends 2013 as America's best selling car. Apparently, since the recession, foreign models are just too small for a family of four to live in comfortably  Hewlett-Packard tells 5,000 more workers to cache in their chips  Beanie Baby creator seeks to avoid jail time, is afraid of not coming out in untouched, pristine condition
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11 Comments     (+0 »)
2014-01-07 02:16:52 PM  
The Aaron Rodgers one was quality. XD
2014-01-07 02:18:58 PM  
Super callous manduca sexta protects with halitosis


/calling it early
2014-01-07 02:22:32 PM  

Summoner101: Super callous manduca sexta protects with halitosis


/calling it early

That one reminds me of one of the best sport headlines, after Inverness Caledonian Thistle beat the heavily favoured Celtic at an away match:

blog.onlymarketingjobs.comView Full Size
2014-01-07 02:29:38 PM  
The OSU-Tigers headline was clever.
2014-01-07 03:06:43 PM  
"Yo holmes, smell ya later!" was my favorite, subby deserves a beer.

/Cant read that sentence and not hear Will Smith rapping
2014-01-07 03:12:07 PM  

D_Evans45: "Yo holmes, smell ya later!" was my favorite, subby deserves a beer.

/Cant read that sentence and not hear Will Smith rapping

Really? All I can hear when I read that line is Christopher Walken having an orgasm.

/Yes, really
//No, I don't know why
///Yes, I enjoy it
2014-01-07 03:19:17 PM  
As an avid NPR listener, the one about the Top Ten Metal Albums is hilarious...
2014-01-07 04:43:15 PM  
Why is it acceptable to use "f*ck" in a headline, but not the word itself? We all know what "f*ck" is, what difference does is make whether the second character is a "u" or an "*"? No filter, anywhere, is fooled by the switch. Anyone who's going to be offended still knows what the word is.

So serious question. Why bother with the illusion of censorship?
2014-01-07 05:11:22 PM  
Bear farker, do you need assistance?
2014-01-07 06:16:43 PM  
Graphic I made some four years ago:
webpages.charter.netView Full Size
2014-01-07 11:06:18 PM  

Summoner101: Super callous manduca sexta protects with halitosis


/calling it early

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