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Texas Instruments suffers severe 535507, Duke suckles, and the War of 18 / 12: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 10/20 - 10/26
Posted by Unfreakable at 2013-10-28 12:02:34 PM (23 comments) | Permalink

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2943 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Oct 2013 at 12:08 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Some really good headlines last week; just what I'm looking for going into the Headline of the Year cutoff at the end of next month. There's still time...

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2013-10-20 to Sat 2013-10-26:  Better signs in parks can increase physical exercise by up to 12%. Especially signs that say "Beware of mountain lions and wandering black bears"  JFK's brain MIA after he was pronouced DOA. RFK unavailable for Q&A  Who lives on a gravesite in Cincinnati? SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS. Until second thoughts by the cemetery. SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS  "Sandwich Teacher Wins State's Top Education Honor." Why? She never needed a sub. She had no condiment but mayo issue a meaty statement with relish later; she doesn't want to be a ham  TEPCO, where the pets glow  Hackensack man hacked and sacked man  Long beards are indelibly linked to manliness, humility, conservatism - according to this columnist who's clearly never set foot in Brooklyn  US not gooder in wordy numbery thingies  New study finds that paying organ donors saves money, though the return process is a real biatch  Detroit mailman saves burning house, continues on his route, is ticketed for obstructing urban improvements  Tampa's Yuengling Brewery engulfed in 2 alarm fire. Budweiser seen offering "water" to Tampa Fire Rescue  

Sports:  Denver loses to Indianapolis in the war of 18 / 12  Honored before Game 2 last night, Mariano Rivera says he's going to "go as far as I can go where people don't play baseball.'' In other news, look for Mo at Wrigley Field next summer  Federer beats "Baby Federer" at Swiss tennis tournament, will now advance to semifinals to face either Vasek Pospisil or Child Protective Services  

Geek:  Can you heal me now?  Duke Hospital researchers discover protein in breast milk that neutralizes HIV. Duke suckles  In a cost cutting move, National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration stops printing nautical charts. Carnival Cruise Lines: What are nautical charts?  

Entertainment:  All born this day in 1971: Snoop Doggy Dogg, Snoop Dogg, DJ Snoopadelic, Snoopzilla, Snoop Lion  Dolly Parton injured in Nashville crash, was spared from injury by massive, shock-absorbing pillow-like cushions. Also, the car's airbags deployed  "Sherlock" will be returning to PBS in January. No shiat  

Politics:  The HHS has announced a "Tech Surge" to help fix the troubled Obamacare website, drafting tech experts to come in to fix the problem, deliver a baby in one month by using nine pregnant women  New poll shows that a majority of Americans think that Boehner lasting for more than four years is a serious condition for which the country should seek immediate medical attention  Boehner says the GOP is going to be fine in 2014. Behold Nostradumbass  

Business:  Texas Instruments suffers severe 3Q 535507  Serco CEO steps down after speculation that Hyman will get busted  Anytime you think that the guys on Wall Street are smarter than you, just remember this headline: "Zynga stock surges"
· · ·

23 Comments     (+0 »)
2013-10-28 12:11:52 PM  
2013-10-28 12:13:45 PM  
should that have been 535507?
2013-10-28 12:13:54 PM  

Texas Instruments suffers severe 505537


2013-10-28 12:14:50 PM  

theunblinkingeye: 505537?

makes me think of 508537
2013-10-28 12:16:53 PM  

Englebert Slaptyback: Texas Instruments suffers severe 505537



You know what they say.  No Mann is an Island.
2013-10-28 12:17:22 PM  
Done in the 5318008
2013-10-28 12:20:36 PM  
I blame reverse Polish notation.
2013-10-28 12:23:01 PM  

theunblinkingeye: 505537?

2013-10-28 12:26:12 PM  

stonelotus: theunblinkingeye: 505537?

makes me think of 508537

Hopefully not  508537 55378008
2013-10-28 12:29:11 PM  
blog.gadodia.netView Full Size

2013-10-28 12:33:56 PM  

DirtyDeadGhostofEbenezerCooke: [ image 232x218]


Man, I missed the original thread.  I was a high school math teacher right when TI was pushing out new applets all the time.  A decade later, I was really disappointed that Apple couldn't find a way to maintain that usage for their mini-applications.  Hell, it even fits better for Apple than it did for TI.
2013-10-28 12:41:56 PM  

jfivealive: stonelotus: theunblinkingeye: 505537?

makes me think of 508537

Hopefully not  508537 55378008

you mean amazons?
2013-10-28 12:52:17 PM  
The 535507 headline, and the Duke Suckles headline, I think are good contenders for HOTY.

*golf clap*
2013-10-28 12:53:01 PM  

stonelotus: jfivealive: stonelotus: theunblinkingeye: 505537?

makes me think of 508537

Hopefully not  508537 55378008

you mean amazons?

A GIS for boobless lesbos turned up numerous photos of TI calculators. And Katy Perry. Weird.
2013-10-28 01:28:51 PM  
I got mentioned for the Al Libi headline last week, but forgot to WOOHOO for the recognition, so WOOHOO!
2013-10-28 01:54:50 PM  
707 5318008

I do not like 5318008. I am gay.
2013-10-28 02:00:36 PM  
jesus farking christ
2013-10-28 02:08:35 PM  
Don't blame me. I voted for Hackensack.
2013-10-28 02:54:50 PM  
TEPCO and Boehner lasting for more than four years knocked out out of the park for me.
2013-10-28 03:55:32 PM  
The "18 / 12" headline got upvoted? Christ, it was a direct ripoff of an Al Michaels line. We're stealing jokes from AL MICHAELS, people!
2013-10-29 01:18:11 AM  
Subby for the Duke/Breast milk headline here, I have to give credit to the Modmin who changed 'Duke sucks' to 'Duke suckles' in the headline.
2013-10-29 01:45:27 AM  
Did someone say War of 1812?
img.fark.netView Full Size

/spend way too much time editing this (full size, uncut, unedited!)
2013-10-29 05:26:45 PM  

Myria: TEPCO and Boehner lasting for more than four years knocked out out of the park for me.

Thanks, I was quite happy with the TEPCO headline. I'm shocked no one's done a headline like that.
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