Skip to content
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
Amazon founder buys packing materials company, Clinton keeps mouth closed on Weiner, and Americans pull out of Lahore due to unsafe sects: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 8/4 - 8/10
Posted by Unfreakable at 2013-08-12 1:59:54 PM (3 comments) | Permalink

•       •       •

1713 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Aug 2013 at 8:18 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

It's August already...who's ready for the Headline of the Year contest to begin?

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2013-08-04 to Sat 2013-08-10:  Amazon founder to buy packing materials company  Squeezing breasts can reverse cancer growth, according to recent studies by scientists who are totally not kidding and completely willing to show you how if you want a demonstration  Robert'); DELETE FROM PeopleInBangladesh WHERE first_name LIKE 'Rehana' AND last_name LIKE 'Begum' AND age = 43 AND num_children = 4 AND resident_of LIKE 'London'; --  Americans pull out of Lahore due to unsafe sects  Research finds that for every 15 additional IQ points there is a 25% drop in the urge for women to have children. Finally, an explanation to what is going on with the Duggars  "I'm a different person now," promises habitual identity thief  Today is 'Go armed to Starbucks' day, so be careful when asking for that extra shot  "Dogs trained to help sniff out ovarian cancer." OBGYN visits now even more awkward  Toddler mauled in zoo attack, prompting fresh concerns about the safety of toddler zoos  Kid finds out he has the coolest mom in town  12 year-old boy in Arkansas finds 5.16 carat diamond. Looks like de beers are on him  

Sports:  Roger Goodell peaks out from hiding spot behind millions of dead Native Americans to proclaim touchdown celebrations irredeemably offensive  "Tiger primed to end major drought," finally get his balls dimpled again  Bill Belichick tells Tim Tebow to "be ready", presumably to fill Tom Brady's water bottle  

Geek:  Mars Rover sings Happy Birthday to itself while alone on the Martian surface, officially making it the second saddest birthday after Kirk Cameron's  Dolphins can recognize whistles of old tank mates. Still can't pick up on pass plays, however  Study suggests camels may be involved in infecting people with MERS virus, making it yet another disease you get from a hump  

Entertainment:  Megan Kelly getting Sean Hannity's slot. Hopefully, the doctors will clean all the sand out of it before going ahead with the transplant  David Bowie helped Trent Reznor battle his demons. Given this is Bowie, these could either be literal or metaphorical demons  Singer Eydie Gormé has passed away at 84. Cause of death blamed on the Bossa Nova  

Politics:  The Pentagon feels pressure to act on sexual assault. It's pressure that they don't want to feel but if they don't accept it and go with the pressure, they may lose their jobs with congressmen  Clinton keeps mouth closed on Weiner  Mayor Bob Filner finishes his two week long therapy rehab a week early, allowing him more time to spend with your wife  

Business:  Virgin Airlines consummates prices increase. Due date scheduled for August 22  GM cuts the price of the Chevy Volt by 13%. Company admits that the higher price tag was just getting too much resistance  An employee who smokes costs businesses $6000 a year, mostly from all the non-smoking employees who spend their entire work day telling the smoker he should quit
· · ·

3 Comments     (+0 »)
2013-08-12 08:23:28 PM  
Isn't Lahore French? Ot that the French would be like that....just sayin'
2013-08-12 09:39:45 PM  
Just by sheer numbers of HOTW headlines I've generated this year, I should (hopefully) have at least one (maybe) make it to the finals

/doubtful, but we'll see
//dolphins, tiger and DoD this week
2013-08-13 07:03:53 AM  
some of these are really awful
Displayed 3 of 3 comments

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

In Other Media
Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.