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Fast food protestors ordered to-go, Art Bell returned by his Alpha Centauri abductors, and how to respond to an offer of bird poop facials: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 7/28 - 8/3
Posted by Unfreakable at 2013-08-05 1:41:52 PM (15 comments) | Permalink

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2124 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Aug 2013 at 1:51 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



About twice per month I'm asked by some baffled submitter how to get a greenlight on Fark. Sometimes they've submitted scores of headlines with nothing but red to show for it.

But it's actually very, very simple: submit headlines like these.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2013-07-28 to Sat 2013-08-03:

img.fark.net  Train wreck trifecta complete: Spain, Amanda Bynes and now Switzerland  

img.fark.net  Academics warn that if Scotland becomes independent, it will risk being invaded by Russia. Sean Connery to play at least five roles in the resulting movie  

img.fark.net  Woman delivers 13lb 4oz baby girl in natural childbirth. The mother hopes to decide on a name soon, but she's still torn  

img.fark.net  Fast food protesters ordered to-go  

img.fark.net  Cumming man wins $1.5M jackpot. Well I guess you can't really blame him  

img.fark.net  Woman flees sex attack, survives 12 days in the wilderness on twigs and berries  

img.fark.net  Snowden leaks out of secure area  

img.fark.net  Clients drop $180 for bird poop facials at NYC spa. GuaNOPE  

img.fark.net  Red Sox owner John Henry to purchase Boston Globe, immediately trade Dan Shaughnessy and Bob Ryan to the Chicago Tribune for a sack of beans and a reporter to be named later  

img.fark.net  Radioactive water from Fukushima about to TEPCO through the tulips  

img.fark.net  Bomb explodes in Manama. Doo doo do doo doo  


Sports:

img.fark.net  Body of ex-MLB pitcher recovered from an Arizona lake. Divers get charged with a blown save  

img.fark.net  Dodgers sign Brian Wilson ... on the condition that he doesn't bring along Mike Love  

img.fark.net  Alex Rodriguez to play in simulated game this week. Or as A-Rod calls games that aren't for real, the playoffs  


Geek:

img.fark.net  Publisher thinks religious comics will help draw comic book reading kids and teens into religion, doesn't realize the only people who read comics are middle-aged men who already have a favorite fictional character with super powers  

img.fark.net  A hacker named Barnaby Jack, found pace-makers easy to crack. He was scheduled to speak, so the timing it reeks. Since it looks like he might have been whacked  

img.fark.net  Scientists grow teeth from urine. Just try getting that yellow out NOW  


Entertainment:

img.fark.net  Art Bell has been returned by his Alpha Centauri abductors with Sasquatch, Reptilians, and EVPs for a new, uncensored show on Sirius  

img.fark.net  Could Lindsay Lohan become a "great runner"? Well, we already know she's doping  

img.fark.net  NBC to air Nancy Kerrigan and Tonya Harding documentary. Further details to be released on a knee-to-know basis  


Politics:

img.fark.net  Mayor slaps city of San Diego on the butt, says how fine it's looking today, and tells it to go rustle up some money from petty cash to pay for his legal fees, sweetcheeks  

img.fark.net  Weiner faces electile dysfunction in new poll  

img.fark.net  Government creates nudge squad, if you know what I mean  


Business:

img.fark.net  Ford introduces vibrating shifter to teach people how to drive a stick, get more women interested in buying cars with manual transmissions  

img.fark.net  Ballmer admits Microsoft built too many surface tablets while nailing them to his roof as cheap shingle substitutes  

img.fark.net  Lululemon admits they're not interested in attracting plus-size shoppers. Rest of the world: "Thank you"
· · ·

15 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2013-08-05 02:07:23 PM  
What? I missed some news about Art Bell?
 
2013-08-05 02:11:26 PM  

Kevin72: What? I missed some news about Art Bell?


Get Serious
 
2013-08-05 02:13:22 PM  
Fast food protesters one was my favorite, got to find out whom was a decent human being and who instead wanted to see poor people suffer for being poor.
 
2013-08-05 02:54:22 PM  
But it's actually very, very simple: submit headlines like these.

Unfreakable are you suggesting people just resubmit all these same stories again with the exact same headlines?
 
2013-08-05 02:59:26 PM  

utsagrad123: But it's actually very, very simple: submit headlines like these.

Unfreakable are you suggesting people just resubmit all these same stories again with the exact same headlines?


It works for Pete and Repeat
 
2013-08-05 03:01:35 PM  

utsagrad123: But it's actually very, very simple: submit headlines like these.

Unfreakable are you suggesting people just resubmit all these same stories again with the exact same headlines?


Works on Imgur.
 
2013-08-05 03:01:49 PM  

utsagrad123: Unfreakable are you suggesting people just resubmit all these same stories again with the exact same headlines?


What could possibly go wrong?

Smeggy Smurf: It works for Pete and Repeat


See?
 
2013-08-05 03:09:35 PM  

Unfreakable: utsagrad123: Unfreakable are you suggesting people just resubmit all these same stories again with the exact same headlines?

What could possibly go wrong?



My guess is somehow Rule 34 will come into play in a way none of us would appreciate.
 
2013-08-05 03:22:21 PM  

utsagrad123: But it's actually very, very simple: submit headlines like these.

Unfreakable are you suggesting people just resubmit all these same stories again with the exact same headlines?


You should also hold off a few days before submitting your headline as Fark doesn't seem to like new news.
 
2013-08-05 03:41:15 PM  

Kevin72: What? I missed some news about Art Bell?


Me too, and he's my next-door neighbor.
 
2013-08-05 04:31:45 PM  

StrikitRich: utsagrad123: But it's actually very, very simple: submit headlines like these.

Unfreakable are you suggesting people just resubmit all these same stories again with the exact same headlines?

You should also hold off a few days before submitting your headline as Fark doesn't seem to like new news.


Because old gnus are so exciting
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size
 
2013-08-05 06:53:41 PM  

magneticmushroom: Kevin72: What? I missed some news about Art Bell?

Me too, and he's my next-door neighbor.


Seriously?
 
2013-08-05 09:12:45 PM  

netgamer7k: magneticmushroom: Kevin72: What? I missed some news about Art Bell?

Me too, and he's my next-door neighbor.

Seriously?


Possibly yes. magneticmushroom 's profile says "Pahrump, Nevada" for his location.
 
2013-08-05 09:15:33 PM  

fat boy: Kevin72: What? I missed some news about Art Bell?

Get Serious


You sound fat.
 
2013-08-05 11:35:26 PM  
Sweet baby flying spaghetti monster! ART BELL IS BACK!
I have been waiting to hear that for so long!
Man, I hate George Noorey!

Sirius just got a new subscriber!   :)
 
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