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Fresh Prince, Braunie admits to using quicker picker uppers, and AT&T stadium will be in line with Cowboy's lack of receptions: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 7/21 - 7/27
Posted by Unfreakable at 2013-07-29 1:24:30 PM (3 comments) | Permalink

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2145 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Jul 2013 at 4:53 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

A new week and a great batch of headlines. Enjoy

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2013-07-21 to Sat 2013-07-27:  Zimmermann beaten badly in first public appearance in over a week  San Jose State suspends online courses after 50% of those enrolled failed to pass. Officials plan to rework it so it can't be accessed by the students at Cal State Bakersfield  George Zimmerman rescues man from overturned truck. Prosecutors said to be looking into what charges to file  Fresh Prince  New prince may be seen shortly. Hopefully not dangled from the balcony window this time  Woman fingers ex-girlfriend in theft of three strap-on dildos from storage unit  Royal couple names new baby after Zimmerman (since Carlos Danger was already taken)  Pope Francis halts motorcade to kiss babies. Dude, you already got the job  Following Asiana fake name debacle, KTVU fires long-time producers Wi Fuk Tup, Took Mai Chob, and Wai Mi  Juror B-29 apologizes for the verdict and thinks that Zimmerman got away with murder. That's rich coming from someone who dropped two atomic bombs  Convicted sex offender pleads guilty to breaking into NYC jails to fraternize with inmates, could get 10 years in the pokey  

Sports:  Braunie admits to using quicker picker-uppers  NFL player (who didn't even kill anyone that we know of) rescues a family from a burning car  Cowboys Stadium is now AT&T Stadium to keep in line with the Cowboys' lack of receptions  

Geek:  Your dog can imitate your behavior after as much as 10 minutes, which explains why he's always humping things  The National Weather Service went live this morning with two new forecasting super computers capable of getting the weather wrong at even faster speeds and in greater resolution  Expert says fish can adapt to hotter temperatures, suggests applying a little butter and salt and using the "broil" setting, five minutes per side for each inch of thickness  

Entertainment:  12 Monkeys to be remade by SyFy, presumably as a reality series about the people who run SyFy  Rolling Stone had planned on putting Kanye West on the cover that ultimately featured the Boston Marathon bomber. Apparently they decided to go with the lesser of two evils  Man opens Dukes of Hazzard museum in North Carolina in part to teach these damn kids today about the magnificence of Catherine Bach's ass  

Politics:  VP Biden arrives in India, gives stirring speech lamenting the treatment of Native Americans by the U.S. government and rampant alcoholism on reservations  Clinton, Obama agree they like bald bush  House Ethics Committee continues investigation of Michele Bachmann. House Intelligence Committee reports they found nothing  

Business:  Martha Stewart made $5.5 Million in 2012. Apparently ex-cons CAN be rehabilitated  "Say, this energy bar is pretty good. What's in it?" *crickets*  As Zynga drops its plans to implement games that allow you to gamble with real money, investors suddenly realize that's essentially what they've been doing by owning stock in Zynga
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3 Comments     (+0 »)
2013-07-29 05:48:50 PM  
Now, this is the story all about how
My life got flipped, turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute, just sit right down
I'll tell you how I became the prince of London town
2013-07-29 09:34:28 PM  
Or hello... I am write single to salute and wait for answer again.
2013-07-29 09:58:42 PM  
The energy bar headline is a HOTY contender.
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