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Two Erins go bragh-less, hindsight is 20/15, and Ellen Degeneres' chewed-up rugs: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 6/16 - 6/22
Posted by Unfreakable at 2013-06-24 4:57:50 PM (2 comments) | Permalink
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3530 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Jun 2013 at 4:57 PM (5 years ago) | | share: more»
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June has been a pretty strong month for headlines; I expect to see several of these at the end of the year.
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2013-06-16 to Sat 2013-06-22:
Monsanto gene-hacked wheat that escaped in Oregon has been contained, according to USDA scientists who hope their families will be released safely
In Limerick the morn began flawless, When two women a-sudden turned lawless, They fought on the ground, With kids all around, Till both of these Erins went bragh-less
Man guilty of solicitor murder. At least he did not solicit a murderer to murder the solicitor, as then he'd be a solicitor murderer murder solicitor and would have to murder himself. Got that?
Cap'n Crunch never rose past the rank of Commander. Still sounds better than Seaman Crunch
Town considers building glass-enclosed area for alcoholics and drug users to socialize -- much like a Greyhound bus terminal
Special needs baseball field to be built now they have the window problem licked
Barry heading towards Mexico. Sterling Archer and the rest of ISIS on high alert
World's largest doomsday shelter to open in Kansas. The term 'doomsday' refers to how it would feel to be trapped underground in Kansas with 5,000 locals in 1,500 RVs for an indeterminate length of time
Women kicked out of McDonalds for getting busy in the bathroom, told to go to Burger King if they want to do that kind of thing
Date to require mandatory back-up cameras on vehicles delayed. Hindsight is 20/15
Christian school releases pamphlet with 101 things students can do instead of having sex, such as blowing bubbles. Bubbles said to be thrilled
Lolo Jones complains about her bobsled paycheck. Hey, you win some, you luge some
It is being reported that an arrest warrant has been issued for Aaron Hernandez in connection with the murder of Odin Lloyd, and that the Patriots' TE is now being stalked by a mysterious man known only as "Shadow"
NBA Finals are the second highest rated ever, which proves that people shouldn't be pissed off about spoilers since they will still tune in when they know how something is going to end
Buzz Aldrin says he was joking about hating Tang, which means Sally Ride remains the only gay astronaut
Scientists claim that a breakthrough has moved their hologram technology from "Tupac" to "Princess Leia", vow to keep working until they've achieved "holodeck orgy"
Ellen DeGeneres is selling her Beverly Hills condo. The condo is fantastic, but the rugs are all chewed up
Abercrombie & Fitch forced to pull shirts saying "Taylor Swift's Boyfriend" because of complaints she would never run out of material
Tragedy strikes the Gandolfini family once again
Virginia Governor uses state funds to detox his botox and dry-cleaned his nozzle while he floozled his flazzle, 'cause he weaseled his wazzle
Former L.A. Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa says he would like to run for Governor some day. Just like he served as Mayor on some days
U. of Colorado investigated for lack of faculty political diversity. Faculty: But we have leftists, radicals, progressives, socialists, communists, Stalinists, Marxists, Bolsheviks, Trotskyites, Maoists...how much more diversity do you want?
Ford brings back manual volume control knobs, confusing all drivers under 25
United Airlines adds minimum spending level for elite flier status. Or as United fliers call elite status, flying on another airline
Kum & Gone
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