Skip to content
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
Two Erins go bragh-less, hindsight is 20/15, and Ellen Degeneres' chewed-up rugs: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 6/16 - 6/22
Posted by Unfreakable at 2013-06-24 4:57:50 PM (2 comments) | Permalink

•       •       •

3530 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Jun 2013 at 4:57 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

June has been a pretty strong month for headlines; I expect to see several of these at the end of the year.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2013-06-16 to Sat 2013-06-22:  Monsanto gene-hacked wheat that escaped in Oregon has been contained, according to USDA scientists who hope their families will be released safely  In Limerick the morn began flawless, When two women a-sudden turned lawless, They fought on the ground, With kids all around, Till both of these Erins went bragh-less  Man guilty of solicitor murder. At least he did not solicit a murderer to murder the solicitor, as then he'd be a solicitor murderer murder solicitor and would have to murder himself. Got that?  Cap'n Crunch never rose past the rank of Commander. Still sounds better than Seaman Crunch  Town considers building glass-enclosed area for alcoholics and drug users to socialize -- much like a Greyhound bus terminal  Special needs baseball field to be built now they have the window problem licked  Barry heading towards Mexico. Sterling Archer and the rest of ISIS on high alert  World's largest doomsday shelter to open in Kansas. The term 'doomsday' refers to how it would feel to be trapped underground in Kansas with 5,000 locals in 1,500 RVs for an indeterminate length of time  Women kicked out of McDonalds for getting busy in the bathroom, told to go to Burger King if they want to do that kind of thing  Date to require mandatory back-up cameras on vehicles delayed. Hindsight is 20/15  Christian school releases pamphlet with 101 things students can do instead of having sex, such as blowing bubbles. Bubbles said to be thrilled  

Sports:  Lolo Jones complains about her bobsled paycheck. Hey, you win some, you luge some  It is being reported that an arrest warrant has been issued for Aaron Hernandez in connection with the murder of Odin Lloyd, and that the Patriots' TE is now being stalked by a mysterious man known only as "Shadow"  NBA Finals are the second highest rated ever, which proves that people shouldn't be pissed off about spoilers since they will still tune in when they know how something is going to end  

Geek:  Buzz Aldrin says he was joking about hating Tang, which means Sally Ride remains the only gay astronaut  XBox 180  Scientists claim that a breakthrough has moved their hologram technology from "Tupac" to "Princess Leia", vow to keep working until they've achieved "holodeck orgy"  

Entertainment:  Ellen DeGeneres is selling her Beverly Hills condo. The condo is fantastic, but the rugs are all chewed up  Abercrombie & Fitch forced to pull shirts saying "Taylor Swift's Boyfriend" because of complaints she would never run out of material  Tragedy strikes the Gandolfini family once again  

Politics:  Virginia Governor uses state funds to detox his botox and dry-cleaned his nozzle while he floozled his flazzle, 'cause he weaseled his wazzle  Former L.A. Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa says he would like to run for Governor some day. Just like he served as Mayor on some days  U. of Colorado investigated for lack of faculty political diversity. Faculty: But we have leftists, radicals, progressives, socialists, communists, Stalinists, Marxists, Bolsheviks, Trotskyites, much more diversity do you want?  

Business:  Ford brings back manual volume control knobs, confusing all drivers under 25  United Airlines adds minimum spending level for elite flier status. Or as United fliers call elite status, flying on another airline  Kum & Gone
· · ·

2 Comments     (+0 »)
2013-06-24 06:48:56 PM  
That's a good lineup
2013-06-24 08:49:50 PM  
Thank you.
Displayed 2 of 2 comments

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

In Other Media
Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.