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No decision where to put the Pistorius ankle monitor, Still Bourne the next movie in the franchise, and a trip into space that only costs one toilet seat: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 2/17 - 2/23
Posted by Unfreakable at 2013-02-27 12:32:15 PM (3 comments) | Permalink

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2957 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Feb 2013 at 2:38 PM (6 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

No comments this week; enjoy.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2013-02-17 to Sat 2013-02-23:  Strange damage reports surface after Friday's Russian meteor explosion. Rumors of a small child wrapped in a red blanket found in the center of the meteorite wreckage remain unconfirmed  Harmful radioactive material stolen from the back of a van. Police are on the lookout for a DeLorean traveling approximately 88 miles per hour  Four year-old finds a bag of drugs at Chuck E. Cheese. I remember when they used to make you redeem tickets to get your prizes  Cult leader's wife recounts horrific sect's acts  Pub landlord who beat off four muggers while holding fish and chips fined by police when they decide it was just codswallop  Doctors discover too late there's a vas deferens between a healthy testicle and a malignant one  Scientists discover that men are from Mars, women are from planet Oh God Why Are You Still Talking, Sweet Jesus Do You Ever Get to the Point  Prosthetic hands stolen from car, victim unable to come to grips with loss  Sausage recall affects 11 states, D.C., your mom  Magistrate grants Pistorius bail, no decision on where to put the ankle monitor  FBI raids The Scooter Store, slow but highly maneuverable chase in progress

Sports:  Danica Patrick eyes pole at Daytona  Kobe guarantees making the playoffs, has receipt from Stubhub to prove it  John Elway is "meeting" with Manti Te'o this weekend. Sure he is

Geek:  Obama seeks 10-year project to map the human brain. Degree of difficulty: finding a working human brain within a hundred miles of DC  Researchers claim overall happiness and satisfaction with life tend to increase with age -- basically alongside dementia. Coincidence?  Scientists claim appendix may provide useful functions, besides being source for overlong adaptations of The Hobbit

Entertainment:  Brent Spiner admits he cheated while taking traffic school. You'd think that would have been something Marina Sirtis did, what with crashing the Enterprise and all  Kim Kardashian says she'd like to go have sex with herself -- just like countless people have suggested she should  Jeremy Renner, Matt Damon ready to return to the Jason Bourne franchise, and the studio hopes to release Still Bourne sometime in 2014

Politics:  Krauthammer: "Why the hell do you people (the media) care so much about the President golfing with Tiger Woods this weekend? This is the biggest non-story since the Kardashian weddings." My god, the Mayans were right  Conan O'Brien to host White House Correspondent's Association dinner. Self Pleasuring Panda and Triumph still making decision on attending based on whether or not Biden shows up, too  George and Mitt Romney's 1964 Rambler is being auctioned on eBay. Car has no rust, minor dings, steering tends to drift to the right

Business:  World's largest collection of micro cars goes on sale. Auction attended by 50 serious collectors, 80 investors, 400 clowns  You don't believe that Burger King profits jumped 94% from lower product costs? Well, here it is, right from the horse's mouth  Virgin Galactic will start offering space trips for $200,000. Or in NASA terms - one toilet seat
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3 Comments     (+0 »)
2013-02-27 02:14:13 PM  
really? my Krauthammer one made it but not the "12 inches or more will be coming" headline? *punts puppy*

thanks for tossing any of mine in this week
2013-02-27 04:01:58 PM  
Another week. Another snub.

I'm getting used to it.
2013-02-27 04:14:22 PM  
Neck collar would be good for Pistorious.
 Cut off a little of the blood flood to his head as a bonus
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