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A rectum full of eels, a general busted for playing with his privates, and Insane Clown Posse called a magnet for gang activity: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 9/23 - 9/29
Posted by Unfreakable at 2012-10-02 3:08:26 PM (13 comments) | Permalink

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3754 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Oct 2012 at 3:27 PM (6 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Some good headlines this week, enjoy.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2012-09-23 to Sat 2012-09-29:  Patient declares "My rectum is full of eels"; prompts doctor's nipples to explode with delight  Are the internet really making us dumber?  Suicide bomb that kills 2 and injures 45 in Nigeria blamed on Boko Haram. Frightened residents said to be a whiter shade of pale  But soft, what line through Nazi Panzer breaks? It is the east, and Stalin will be stunned. Goebbels' poetry, love letters, and fiction goes on sale  UK Treasury's Wheatley said to recommend regulation of Libor-Setters, legitimizing the breed  Army Brigadier General sent back stateside after being accused of sexual misconduct. He should have known better than to play with his Privates  Four out of 10 UK pupils fail new phonics test, according to the Worcestershire Institute  Megan Stammers f-f-f-found in France  Plane carrying trekkers crashes in Nepal, killing all 19 on board. Recovery team having difficulty because they were all wearing identical red shirts  Alzheimer's Walk set for Saturday. Search and rescue set for Sunday  Arthur O. Sulzberger, New York Times publisher, dies. He is survived by his newspaper, but just barely

Sports: now links to gay dating website instead of the website for the Dallas Cowboys, which when you think about it, are not that different to begin with  Braves clinch postseason slot on a walk-off two-run homer. NFL refs award two free throws and a penalty kick for icing  Ed Hochuli kept the real referees ready by hosting weekly conference calls and giving them tests, which presumably included incline dumbbell curls

Geek:  Why men like boobs. Hey pal, the science is up HERE  $30 device lets you control your computer with your eyes, leaving your hands free. Hard to imagine there would be a use for that  Urban coyotes mate for life. As opposed to urban cougars, who mate for lunch

Entertainment:  Angry spokesman says 89-year-old Stan Lee is just fine, dismissing recent news article about "very serious circumstance" regarding his health, insists Drs. Banner and Richards are furiously working around the clock  Insane Clown Posse sues FBI after being called a magnet for gang activity  "Some actress just delivered her third baby. 'Reese' something..." "Witherspoon?" "No, with her forceps"

Politics:  "Dirty Jobs" star Mike Rowe officially endorses Mitt Romney, because if there's one candidate who understands the value of rolling up their sleeves and doing hard work, it's a guy who inherited all his money and owns ballerina horses  Study finds that both female and male GOP politicians are seen as more feminine than their Democratic counterparts. Jan Brewer thrown out of data as outlier  Canadian prime minister Stephen Harper presented with World Statesman award. In other news, the body of George Orwell has been exhumed and for some reason he was lying face down

Business:  If Apple continues on its current trajectory, it could wind up at $1 trillion. If it uses Apple Maps, it could wind up at a gas station in Botswana  Discover Card refunds $200 million to card holders for deceptive marketing practices. The deception actually occurred when they told the customers there were businesses that would honor the card  U.S. airlines collect $1.7 billion in baggage fees in the first half of the year. Airlines promise to use the second half of the year to start looking for some of those bags
· · ·

13 Comments     (+0 »)
2012-10-02 03:31:10 PM  
The headlines the past while have been awesome.
2012-10-02 03:32:17 PM  
Eel rectum? That one slid right past me. seriously.
2012-10-02 03:37:05 PM  

2012-10-02 03:40:59 PM Full Size
2012-10-02 03:49:32 PM  
I often confuse my rectum for a hovercraft.
2012-10-02 03:53:49 PM  

db2: I often confuse my rectum for a hovercraft.

2.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size

Fark finds me such wonders.
2012-10-02 04:41:41 PM  

stevegarbowski: Eel rectum? That one slid right past me. seriously.

2012-10-02 05:02:24 PM  

Cosmic_Music: SCIENCE BOOBS!


Aw, shucks. Thanks.

2012-10-02 05:09:50 PM  
'Rectum Full of Eels' remains, to this day, my favorite Spin Doctors song
2012-10-02 05:18:26 PM  
I can't believe I missed the Insane Clown Posse headline. I must be doing too much life.

FACT: Being a Juggalo is all about multicultural acceptance and Christ-like goodwill. Sure, it's presented as all "hyper-violent" and "Faygo splashy", but the love is there. Hasn't anyone of you haters even bother to read their compendium of mad rhymes?

God Bless the Insane Clown Posse and their Juggalo Soldiers.
2012-10-02 05:25:07 PM  

Cosmic_Music: SCIENCE BOOBS!


Good to see you around, buddy
2012-10-02 05:49:08 PM  
s3.vidimg02.popscreen.comView Full Size
2012-10-02 09:01:51 PM  

Tsar_Bomba1: [ image 480x360] Full Size
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