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Legs found near Butte still attached to Feete, toddler caught drinking brake fluid says he can stop at any time, and Caps haul in Oates: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 6/24 - 6/30
Posted by Unfreakable at 2012-07-03 8:43:49 AM (11 comments) | Permalink

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2000 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jul 2012 at 8:49 AM (6 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

It was a fun week with some great headlines. Enjoy:

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2012-06-24 to Sat 2012-06-30:  Mayor Bloomberg proposes public shaming of speeders, or as the rest of us call it, an official high score list  Man run over by boat while sleeping in tent. Not a good way to wake  EU: 'So, we're ready to discuss your country joining the EU.' Montenegro: 'Wait, aren't you in the middle of collapsing?' EU: 'Montenegro, please'  Pair of human legs found near Butte; apparently still attached to Feete  Coca-Cola apparently contains at least as much alcohol as Coors Light  Apparently, contempt for Congress is a crime. Subby needs to hire a lawyer  A critically ill man wakes from a coma and his Weeners is a request for a KFC meal. Doctors put him back into coma  80,000 rare freshwater mussels die in English reservoir. Authorities issue urgent call for 600 tablespoons of butter, 80 cups of shallots, 250 cups of dry white wine and 160 cups of chopped parsley  Toddler drinks brake fluid for the second time this year. Claims not to be an addict; says he can stop any time  Americans just as likely to be killed by their furniture as they are by terrorism. I'm so very scared. Help  July 1 sees new laws nationwide: In Illinois, it's now $50 to barf in a cab, and in Kentucky, it's now illegal to release feral hogs into the wild. In related news, Kentucky bar ladies' night attendance drops drastically

Sports:  Kevin Youkilis is told to change his Sox  The Caps haul in Oates  SFPD sending undercover officers posing as Dodger fans to AT&T for this weekend's series, but blew their cover when they were seen in their seats in the first inning

Geek:  Researchers figure out how to give people the sensation of déjà vu... Didn't we already have this thread?  Google announces Nexus 7. Roy Batty said to be inconsolable  Archaeologists find cow and woman. Chicken feels betrayed, confused, files for divorce

Entertainment:  Science cannot discern our visceral reaction to music, whether it is the ominous feel of the Jaws theme, melancholy at Adele, or homicidal rage at Nickelback  Tom Cruise shaves beard  PETA names Jessica Chastain, Woody Harrelson sexiest vegetarian celebrities of 2012. I know who he is, but I never seen herbivore

Politics:  Caroline Kennedy campaigns for Obama in an effort to show that guano psychosis is bipartisan  Troy McGreggor thinks the SCROTUS health care decision is the greatest destruction of individual liberty since Satoris forbade Zap Rowsdower to wear his Canadian tuxedo to the Ziox restoration ceremony  Thanks to yesterday's Supreme Court ruling, the tsunami of party-line bullshiat about PPACA will only intensify. This is solely the fault of the party whose evil efforts you heroically oppose

Business:  Japanese consumers all aglow as Fukushima fish return to market  Stock analyst predicts Facebook rising to $66 a share. Tells investors to buy after taking profits in  Airbus to open plant in Alabama, plans to build single-wides
· · ·

11 Comments     (+0 »)
2012-07-03 08:56:03 AM  
I like the PETA one
2012-07-03 08:59:19 AM  
Wow. Filter pwned on the headline transcription. That takes doing.
2012-07-03 09:02:11 AM  

Mrs.Sharpier: I like the PETA one

My favorite too. It's like a pun I should have heard a million times because its so good, but this is the first.
2012-07-03 09:03:09 AM  

Mrs.Sharpier: I like the PETA one

I do too, but for the bad grammar. "I never seen..."
2012-07-03 09:14:39 AM  
Airbus to open plant in Alabama, plans to build single-wides

Not a Fark cliche or pun, IMO
2012-07-03 09:20:36 AM  

the_rev: Mrs.Sharpier: I like the PETA one

I do too, but for the bad grammar. "I never seen..."

Fixed the original. I'm so used to reading headlines fast that I missed that one after reading it a half-dozen times. My mind fixes it and I don't even see it.
2012-07-03 09:32:30 AM  
A critically ill man wakes from a coma and his Weeners is a request for a KFC meal. Doctors put him back into coma

Haha, self-filterpwn
2012-07-03 09:40:12 AM  

Unfreakable: My mind fixes it and I don't even see it.

So, your brain is lying to you? That's a bad sign.
2012-07-03 09:49:34 AM  
Man, I'm sorry I missed that story.
2012-07-03 02:21:06 PM  
I love the "High Score List" one!
2012-07-03 02:25:22 PM  
OMG, no "that's amoeba"? That headline was much better than some of the others on this list.
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