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Eyeless shrmp, pillowfights in lieu of NFL kickoffs, and earthquake research at the Sybian Building: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 4/15 - 4/21
Posted by Unfreakable at 2012-04-23 8:32:29 PM (4 comments) | Permalink
More: FarkBlog, Farkers, NFL

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1720 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Apr 2012 at 8:38 PM (7 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Some good headlines this week. Enjoy

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2012-04-15 to Sat 2012-04-21:  Mob of anarchists attack NYC Starbucks, leaving everyone inside jittery  Warren Buffett acquires prostate cancer  Teenager sent to hospital after being struck by lightning twice in the same afternoon -- later discharged  Fishermen are catching tons of shrmp in the Gulf. You read that right, these shrmp have no eyes  Blood test could identify depression in teens, samples are easily collected after they finish cutting themselves  California teens hack into school computers to change attendance records. Next up: Getting keys to Cameron's dad's Ferrari, picking up Sloane Peterson  Bollywood actress beheaded by two fellow actors, no word on whether their alibi is the same old song and dance  2011 was the worst year for measles since 1986. On the bright side, all the victims were autism free  How internet porn turned my beautiful boy into a hollow, self-hating shell -- with a grip of steel  South African bodyboarder killed by great white shark remembered as well-mannered boy and great chum  Hot redhead singlehandedly collars Boston subway pervert after the other male passengers fold up like the Sox with a 9-0 lead

Sports:  NFL may eliminate kickoffs because too many players get hurt during returns. Possession and spot will be determined by a pillowfight at midfield  Detroit Lions' center Raiola says he's not concerned with short-term memory loss; goes on to say that he's not concerned with short-term memory loss, ends interview by pointing out he's not concerned with short-term memory loss  Colombo returns to Dallas for just one more thing

Geek:  Scientists build a five-story building on top of a shake plate to simulate earthquake damage. Engineers say the Sybian Building will help them determine how quakes affect modern structures  Brain scans indicate if women will have sex, which is great news for guys who bring brain scanners to bars  Brain Study: Erotic movies make parts of brain shut down (especially the part that's suppose to remember to clear your browser history)

Entertainment:  IRS to Lionel Richie: Hello, it's you we're looking for  Heidi Klum poses naked lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Donec sollicitudin libero id elit  Levon Helm, drummer for The Band, is in the end stage of terminal cancer. Subby wonders if Robbie Robertson will take all the credit for this, too

Politics:  Romney offering "preferred status" to Inauguration for donors who cough up $50,000. Still unsure where the party tent will be set up to get a good view of Obama's swearing in, though  "Romney sticks to broad attack on Obama in NRA speech." Will the GOP ever stop disrespecting women?  According to new research, Conservative viewpoints dominate Sunday morning television, which is ironic given that they should be in church  

Business:  Wall Street old-timers complain computerized high speed traders "are taking all the humanity out" of their business. We'd laugh, but we might drop the barrels we're all wearing  American Airlines and U.S. Airways agree to terms of merger. "We seek to create an airline that combines the low on-time performance of American with the horrendous customer service that has made U.S. Airways a household name"  Mishandled bags at airports now down to 20.3%. In related news, at $50 a bag, 20.3% fewer pieces of luggage checked this year
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4 Comments     (+0 »)
2012-04-23 08:40:55 PM  
Big shrmp?
2012-04-23 09:17:14 PM  
Two this week!

I'm spent.
2012-04-23 10:05:02 PM  
The shrmp headline was about the funniest thing I've read here.

But I love puns.
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2012-04-23 10:13:11 PM  
Shrmp was good because it was wordplay that wasn't a bad pun.
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